Erotica, Dark thoughts, and Snips/snails

while flattering

vlad_X — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:23:12 GMT

While flattering I must say for all you gents who are interested. I'm straight. Sorry. :)

Gray

vlad_X — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:53:54 GMT

I can't help the shadows they run out from the night where you turned cross the pillow and knew it's not right. I can't balance the cost I am broken and lost. There no dreams I can find to fill this hole. There no souls that can comfort and ease my soul. I am lost every night, it's still gray in my sight. You don't think of me anymore I am the past. But I see you in windows through memories glass. You have arms you entwine I'm alone, it is fine. I have shadows of shadows to comfort me. I have darkness so dim only I can see. I'm not looking for hope. In the gray I can cope. The world it is moving. hands falling. it's happening.

Quiet in the night. I miss having arms to hold me when I try to push away..

vlad_X — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 04:38:37 GMT

Bring out the dark, stand in the rain. My bones are all frozen, thoughts flitter and fade. And trying to dance with your shadows in vain. It's too dark to see me, I'm drifting away. Wishing for dreams in a bed where we'd lay. It's so quiet and still here. In the darkness of day. Curled in a ball. Red down the drain. Swirling in circles. I'm dancing away.

The Edge of Night

vlad_X — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 09:53:41 GMT

Sirens in the distance. Then silence. The darkness blankets me, though I cannot sleep. In the quiet night, my mind is drifting. Thoughts keep me awake, tease my body. Feathers and silk, the scent of leather, the heat of burning wax. Soft lips freshly licked. Alone Sky-clad and restless. I drift the edge of night.

Empty

vlad_X — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 00:44:42 GMT

I look in the mirror. I appear fine. Nothing in the expression that hints at how I feel. It's eerie, unnatural. No window to the soul. Or is it that very soul that leaves no expression? There is no place for this. No safe haven to whisper, or hide a tear in for what I've lost. I know, I can feel that it's not in my chest. On a quest of it's own. But here, my mind knows. It will fail. It is unwanted, unneeded. It wanders the void, and leaves a void behind it. My shovel is broken. Or my arms are too tired. I close my eyes and feel that deep dark hole. What good are these eyes when all I wish to see is beyond my grasp. That smile turned to me. But I cannot, will not chase, what chooses to run. And there are no kisses for tears, that I cannot shed...

Nightfall

vlad_X — Tue, 18 Oct 2005 08:09:46 GMT

Standing close, eyes gaze up. Silently fixed, caught. Heat rises, drifts between. Escaping into the night. Cloth falls like leaves. Drift like silk. Bare, warm, fingers touch. Hastened breath purrs softly. Skin soft, pressed. Warmth shared. Fingers on backs. Lips, softly touch, linger. Hot breath on the neck. Hands strum the spine. Fingertips barely touch. Trace downward like a feather. Lips follow, kisses. Neck, sholders, down the back. Firm hands on hips. Knees upon the ground. Minds wander, wanton. Lustful whispers in the dark night. I close my eyes. And try to sleep.. -V

Prey

vlad_X — Sat, 15 Oct 2005 17:27:43 GMT

"Too hard?” she asks. The voice inside growls amidst the cacophony of sensations. Teeth clenched, fingers curled against white sheets. Spatters of red like some virgin flower. Cannot form words... As if this primal force robs me of language. Leaving only fiery passion, burning me up. Turning me over and over. I grab her wrists tight in my hands. And throw her to her back like prey. Straddling her I stare down, into her eyes. Helpless beneath me, I am a jungle cat. Purring and gazing at what is mine. Her eyes are caught in my stare. She breaths a quick inhale of bliss. A moan, and she smiles up at me. Too hard? No.. Never too hard... -V

In the light

vlad_X — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 23:42:39 GMT

Dark rain splashes up from the black street. Dripping down my face I stand and looking upward.. The sky is falling. And I don't care. Black leather soaked, jeans clinging. The roar of the engine. Into the night I ride. Chilled to the bone, and I feel nothing. The world a shadow. Every smile hollow. I'm stranded in the crowd. Looking for a girl bathed in light. I may be blind. I'm lost. I'm looking for a patch of sun. A moment of lightness. A warming glow. I'm in the darkness looking. For a patch of light to hide in.

The Things I Crave

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:47:04 GMT

In my mind... I feel the leather tighten on my wrists. Arms spread as if I pray to Gods, which never listen. I grip the rope, muscles tight, stretched out in a Y, my legs apart. I feel her hands slide down the back of my neck, down my back, down my legs. She spreads my legs wider. Places the leather straps around my ankles. Slides the rope through the metal rings. Ties them and pulls them taut. I lower my head and breath deep. I feel her warm breath on my neck and then the coolness of the blade. Sliding over the warmed skin. And then it's gone. The fabric pulls tight across my chest as I hear the blade tear through it. Up my spine, over my shoulders. I feel the fabric fall. Feel the warm air on my back. But I do not crave the warmth. Hands move over my head, through my hair. Gently down my cheeks. I smell the leather as she brings it to my lips. I part them slowly as the leather is pressed to my mouth. I taste the salty strap as I bite down. And for a moment there is silence. For one moment my mind is clear. Not the racing glimpses of thoughts that haunt my daily life. Like a room full of people all asking me questions, which I must walk through and still hold firm the clarity that the rest of the world takes for granted. For a moment there is silence. It stretches and I remember. That the sun is bright, but I only see rain. That I've forgotten what it is to be hungry. Only filling my mouth with food, swallowing, to stop the pain in my stomach. But there is no flavor. In the silence there is only loneliness, and loss. And I want to scream to make it stop. Anything to make this stop. This silence, this emptiness. Stretched to the four winds my body tight, my head bowed. I weep tears as I beg for the pain. Something to make me feel. There is a loud crisp sound as the whip kisses flesh. I feel a sudden burst of hot pain across my back. I bite into the leather and inhale sharply as I feel it. But I do not cry out. And then another and another. Slowly, and each time a little harder. Teeth clenched the only sound I make is a soft deep purr, a moan that calls out for more. Harder. Harder! Harder!! I can feel the sweat running down my face. I feel the drops of blood and sweat that mix and sting and burn. The leather strap falls from my mouth as I let my body hang limp against the bonds. Body spent, but hard , the heat rises from between my legs. A hunger in my stomach, lust on my lips. Alive again, The world’s white noise drifts in like a breeze. I feel the sun on my skin, warm. Perhaps I'll find a lover after all. Soft skin, pressed against mine. Lips to taste, legs to intertwine. Eyes to gaze at me with desire and love. Perhaps... Someday.. I open my eyes. Find myself on a bench by a stoplight. I pull a cigarette from my jacket. Think to myself, "I should quit soon." as I click the Zippo and inhale. Cars heading home from work. People talking and looking in the shop windows. I begin to walk back to my bike. I smile as I pass the people on the street. Polite as ever. I remember something a girl said to me.. "Pretty, pretty boy." ... And just like her, the world passes by me, thinking pretty pretty boy. They only see the pretty package. And they probably wouldn't believe. The things I crave..... -Vlad

Conversation with Samantha

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:44:48 GMT

(This is a snipet of dialogue from a play I am writing, based on journals from my past. *Past*, notice here, not present.) S- If you slash your blood across the walls, will it ever be enough? V- You alone. S- Slit your wrists just to feel the blood drop from between your fingers of your fists. V- Only you. S- Burn til your body is only scars. V- Darkness only, and you Sam. S- Why when I'm the sain one do you get the body? V- Good question. S- Why blood? V- I don't know. S- Dip your palm in it. Finger paint with it. V- Draw a pretty picture with it. Draw the sun and happiness. S- With the darkness. V- Yes. S- With your black life. V- How fast the brilliant color turns to dark brown. S- External winter. All browns for you. V- She used to say the trees were just sleeping. S- To you they look dead. V- To me they look like dried blood. Nature dead. S- Mud. Brown like blood. Like the trees in winter. V- War paint. Mud. Brown. Dried blood. No life. That's why. S- Your hands filled with blood drawn down your face to leave it bloody. Where it can turn brown to show that you are already dead. V- Will there ever be enough blood to splash the walls? S- Will there ever be enough happiness for you to paint over the scars? V- Cover them with dirt. S- We keep coming here. V- I know. S- I wish we could escape. V- Cover this with dirt...

Breathless

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:38:07 GMT

In her eyes, I'm drowning. Her nails on my back, deep scratches, a drop of blood... Breathless... Flick of the tongue, hot on my hips. The feel of her teeth. I shiver... Breathless... She writhes above me. Sliding my hands up her sides, the curve of her breasts. She presses down, driving me into her as I grasp my hands around her neck. "You are mine." I whisper. she surrenders in ecstasy, without a word. In my eyes, she's drowning. Breathless... -V

The Sun Burns

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:36:44 GMT

I'm trying to hold the sun. But I think I'm just frightened. It's not that it will burn me. But it's warm... I'm trying to hold the sun. For the moment, my heart isn't cold. Stealing smiles from strangers, and keeping them in mind. Can I really hold the sun? Will I manage to keep it's warmth? Is it better to stay in the dark, than to have and lose this flame? I'm trying to hold the sun, but I'm afraid to be happy. Will it betray me? Will it fly? To leave me alone again? Is it better to stay in the dark? For the moment my heart isn't cold. My heart isn't cold. My heart isn't cold. God help me my heart isn't cold! And I'm trying to hold the sun... -V

Beautiful

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:33:54 GMT

How long is life? Quality or quantity? Cut with a knife. Clean and cold duality. Do I need the extra years? Living with a fragile soul? Some peace, when my heartbeat clears. Darkness and dirt to console. The crackle and hiss. Is all I have to hold? The dark angel's kiss, auction open, and sold. No more her black wings embrace. No stroking her raven hair. Just the worlds grey path to pace. And this broken soul to bear... -V

Metal Scars and Ink

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:32:27 GMT

I spend my life walking through ghosts. They beg for tears, alms for some broken soul. And all I seem to see are the shadows of shadows. Sometimes I think I'm only metal scars and ink. Maybe half a souls enough. Maybe pain, burns, fire's loving kiss. Maybe pain is enough of a lover, for I am broken. And only metal scars and ink. -V

The Risk

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:30:15 GMT

These hands, strong. Fingers long and well shaped. To caress and glide and scratch. These arms to wrap you like a cloak. To keep you warm against the cold. These fists to hold the world at bay. To keep you safe. These lips to breath heat upon your skin. To whisper dark passions in your ear. The thousand scars stripe my arms. I have done what it takes to survive. The ink adorns my skin in symbols. I have secrets within them to share. The strange gray wisdom in my eyes. I have measured life and death. The child like grin, mischievous. I have joyful innocence. Flames of lust in my gaze. Sweat drips, I taste salt. Winds of truth in my words Loyal as a prayer, my love. Streams of blood from my heart. Betrayed will it ever stop bleeding? Is my heart worth less for the wounds? Is my soul worth less for my regrets? Is my hope ill placed? Is my trust just a shadow? I offer you my doubts. Slide a dagger into your grip. Standing naked before you. Eyes full of love and desire. I bow to my knees, reach for your hand. Place the tip of the dagger between the fourth and fifth rib. I clasp my hands behind my back. I close my eyes.... I offer myself to you. To use as you desire. I offer my love for you. And I await.. A merciful blades final blow. Or warm lips upon my own. -V

Beach at Night

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:28:41 GMT

The cliffs above low tide. Full moon's bright rays cast shadows. Warm sand cradles bare skin. Waves crash in time with our bodies. Curves reflecting light, intertwined. Salt in the air, Salt on our tongues. -V

Too Hot to Sleep

vlad_X — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:27:30 GMT

It’s dark. A drop of sweat runs down my back. The moon casts shadows across my body. I cannot sleep. It’s hot. My skin is slick, I radiate heat. Laying atop the sheets, I am restless. It’s silent. A warm breeze on my lips. The open window smells of roses, I whisper breaths. It's night. The dim light, my shadow lover. I stretch and writhe and moan, I am untouched. -V