acrobat masters?

any of my digital sensei friends know anything about adobe acrobat forms/distribution/digital signatures?

on deadline and my project is in fail mode.

santa gets tuckered out

www.wimp.com/woodmachine/

"its not done, its got a bunch of other stuff to be done."


ain't that the truth.

my guess, its going to be a time machine, and when he's done we're going to be his minions.

eucalyptus.

anybody know this plant?

i've got a 15' tall tree that's been growing gangbusters for two years, and now looks dead. there is no new growth this year except for a few new green sprouts around the base. i think the leaves that are on it have been hanging around since last fall for no reason. hrm?

so i'm crusin'

down to the mash tun to tip a pint on the chopper won and she dies. right there near the destination. no warning, no hiccup. just bam, no nothing. like a switch. so, first thing i look at is the kill switch - maybe i bumped it.

nope.

d.o.a. no reason. no evidence. just no go.

kick and a kick and nothing.

walk 'er home.



it acts like no spark, so i put it on the charger. no dice.

no thing works.



paint me stoopid, but i'm no getting it, and it's pissing me off. i am smarter than a honda fifty-cc. i am. damnit. i am.





fukitall. i'm going to bed smelling like gasoline.

fish on

i came home from school and let myself in through the front door. dropped my books in the living room. i see them sitting on the stereo cabinet, where they had been that morning. i picked up the nearly full package. turned it over. took one out. smelled it, from end to end, like they do in the movies. they remind me of my father. i put in in my mouth, and drew air through it. held it between my fingers and blew imaginary smoke rings. i was breaking a rule. i was excited. i was ready.

i shook the pack around and tapped the cigarettes inside around to fill the hole left from the one i removed. carefully, i placed the pack of lucky strikes e x a c t l y where they had been. in the kitchen junk drawer, matches. out the door, to the barn. around the corner where i can see up the long private road anyone coming for a quarter-mile.

i made the flame. made my lips around it. made a vacuum with my mouth. made it burn, and pulled the smoke through it.

i know how to do it. i've seen it a thousand times, more. it does not seem complicated.

i didn't smoke the whole thing. about halfway through it i started to feel sick. i put it out, crushing the end in the dirt. i walked back to the house. my head feeling buzzed. put the remaining half in the burn barrel and buried it in the ash with the burnt match. matches back in the drawer. there was no incontrovertible evidence. no one knew, or could know, or could guess, or would ever think that i had smoked my first cigarette.

it was 1979. i was eleven years old.

by the time i was sixteen i was a daily smoker. it gets more complicated every day, and this state of affairs continued through august of 2001 when i had finally had enough.

i quit, gave it up until the summer of 2004 when i thought that a clove would be nice every so often. then a cigar or two.

then ... it gets complicated again. i'm nervous and shy. it's hard for me to be anywhere, and its not just a girl, its everyone. when i smoke i have this other reason to be there. i have this non-personal catalyst that allows me to be in or near the presence of people i like without gushing, and they can't reject me. we're all in the smoking area, smoking. reason number 257,325,611 of why i smoke, and it goes back to fucking high school.

i have a lot of reasons. each one makes me a little more comfortable. a little more justified.

five years later, and i'm ready again. i'm forty-one years old. i've smoked nearly every day of my life for just about thirty years of it.

it tried to kill me in 2006, and again in 2008 as part of that whole deep vein thrombosis affair. my medical chart doesn't list me merely as a smoker, oh no! it calls me out with 'nicotine abuse disorder'. at the time, it could have killed me and i was more or less okay with that, despite my protestations otherwise and general fear about dying. did i mention... it gets complicated.

i did ten days off it around the winter holiday. it didn't go well.

now, at the end of april, and i put it down again. yesterday was day four. the worst, i know, is over. now it is about keeping it simple.

fucking hooks. get 'em out of me.

extinction level events (ELE)

ninety-nine percent of all species that ever existed on earth are extinct. from bacterium to do-dos, gaia seemingly plunges any number of dna strands into oblivion with amazing regularity.

asteroid 99942 travels elliptically, wandering in and out the orbits of between venus and earth. renamed apophis; the greek name for the egyptian deification of darkness, chaos, and evil.

the good news is that the latest calculation has been refined enough to rule out the possibility of impact. this sort of thing happens every 1300 years or so. given the... current data. though, a little nudge...

...cue the pink floyd.
www.milkandcookies.com/link/1...detail/

i'm more worried about the frankenfood. see you on the dark side.

friday, the thirteenth

so... today, what happened is thus:

a person left a note in my car. said essentially, 'hey, i don't know you but i like your car. if you want to sell it call me." sorry, barbara-ann is nfs.

i got a notice from a credit card company that they want to increase my annual percentage rate. i wrote them a bite-my-vagina letter.

i threw a coupla darts in the garage whilst smoking a moment ago. one of them hit direct another, robin hood splitting the arrow style. i needed a witness, to which tamara obliged. i still can't quite understand it, but pls reference the attached photo.

oh, the luck.

toodles,
~w

displacement

when i become still the sea reaches up into my chest, fills my heart and i begin to drown.

hear ye, hear ye

to accentuate the things which divide us is to divide us just that much more. to point to the thing that makes you different than i, and call it into attention, is to forever delineate that separateness and ultimately dehumanize. i say, direct your gaze toward the sameness, the places where we meet. my hands to yours, in flesh and bone. my breath is as your breath. my heartbeat is as yours. forever unique, and just like you.