http://people.tribe.net/westerneye/blog Tribe.net. Local Connections http://people.tribe.net/westerneye/blog/5d60e1b5-41ed-45e3-98ab-4ac234a7f400 <div>What is about public speaking that can make you feel so small? Why is it that public recognition can make your ego so enlarged? There are so many of us out there in the world yet when we stand up and speak our minds that changes quikly. When we step into the public arena we open ourselves up for scrutiny and judgement bridging the gap between the vast distance between us. What is it that pushes us out there infront of our peers and our critics and the crazy people that always show up? Is it the love of the sound of our own voice? A need for recognition? A yearning for change? A desire to preech, to convert or to condemn.? For that matter, why do I write this now, and to who or for whom? I know I feel a need to put ideas on the table and in doing so I put myself there aswell. Under the scalpel of the public eye. Filleting myself into thin convenient layers for all to see. To be remembered and in that permanence to decay. I am engulfed in my own self consious existence unless I am able to exist as simply a messenger of ideas that obsess me. Obsession is fundamentaly important to speaking out loud becuase without it why bother, why share anything you do not love that much? That sounds like bullshit now that I read it again, how can obsession be good, right? And so much that people say is random and useless and distant from their personal truths. Perhaps the words and the language are a veil, a division between oneself and others. The cherokee have no word for dominate or boss, nor do they have any curse words. I just heard that on the radio. Bioneers show. Materialism is a state of imbalance it went on to say. Bleeding outloud, spreading whats inside, private and sensitive. A public injury or a private exposure. I have no one to blame other than myself. Even if I am a product of nature and nurture, even if I have no free will. The chains of my perception, of my perspective say it is so. Opening my third eye, slipping into other places is an escape that leads me back again. I must really like it here. Enjoy life, its a rule, I have been told. Dont take yourself so seriously. Now get at it. There will not be peace while there is war with mother earth. The bleeding radio brought me the instructions. </div> Sat, 18 Jun 2005 07:38:43 GMT http://people.tribe.net/westerneye/blog/5d60e1b5-41ed-45e3-98ab-4ac234a7f400 westerneye 2005-06-18T07:38:43Z