know thy self
when you walk forward
carrying the light
of a thousand suns
the dreams
of a thousand sons
the pain of things
left undone
see your beauty
for what it is
and when your ready
bring it forth
for all to see
be free

~* )O( *~

did i take a wrong turn way back when
in postponing my dreams to help others round the bend?
its hard to say which way is best
are these consiquences or is this a test?
so here we are now a choice to be made
the initial excitement did early on fade
if the hearts of men are all the same
and their hurtful actions stem from their own pain
its hard to see the good in saying no
to trust its time to let them go
switch back turn the path goes on
should i move or do i stay on?

~* )O( *~

No Time to Run Free

in a world where things go unsaid
that should have been forgotten long ago
where simple strife holds us bound
to a system built for freedom
till we bicker amongst ourselves
lacking perspective and knowledge
and at the end of the day we sleep
with our secrets fears & dreams
running round with no where to go
no time to run free

~* )O( *~

i see a sickness spreading because of pain
and through harsh words & lack of insight
so much ugliness leaving little to no room for
caring and understanding
and yet the pattern holds true to its design
accenting the darkness with bits of what
was once and over abundance
& maybe thats just it, when joy and discovery
were spreading, the future was bright
and we could see all, to the edge of our being
and then it was time to walk forward
again, into the darkness that has
become so heavy, to find something new
to share with eachother.

~* )O( *~

Fire in My Eyes

i feel sick from
the pain
and this fire that
i dont understand
and it burns and it
burns and it
burns me raw
till i cant tell
the stars from
the sun

~* )O( *~

Midnight Love

minds meeting, crashing, dreaming
words circle in endless space
never finding their destination
and you & i hear the song
its deep within our selves
it shines so strong
through the pain and confusion
unable to be ignored
tug & pull & circle round
to see where we went wrong
yet the desire thrives
burning away our doubt
a need for patience it shown
through this time of growth

~* )O( *~

Dreaming Past the Edges

dreaming past the edges
from the safe comforts of home
unknown secrets to be shared
thru doorways which you have only
to dream the key to enter
to believe and partake
and walk farther than the light shines
no longer @ home
to let go of fear and doubt
and fall into flight

~* )O( *~

secluded in the darkness i see all that i am missing
i love this melody running circles round my soul
i hold the lies in my arms and rock them to sleep in acceptance
letting go of my last thread
slipping into this unknown dream
secure in my windowsill
the moon shines through the silhouetted trees
.~*~.
its actually all quite beautiful you see
as you walk into the darkness
carrying the light
you see all that you are missing
and become

*this was a 2 parter, i wrote the 2nd part about 4-5 yrs after the 1st part.

~* )O( *~

The Colors of Truth

to be the colors of truth
when there is no right or wrong
what lies within and without
what is and what is not
what can be and what will be
and what has always been
hearing from the source of dreams
the answers to the questions that surround
the essence of the flower in bloom

~* )O( *~

Our Dark Mother

like drops of water we travel up these roots
cradled in our dark mothers womb
watching through the moon as if she were a window
starring out over the sea
looking out of this dream, into the next

~* )O( *~

The Self

Each one of the etchings of this sentance a tracing of the path of your life within the sands of the beach of eternity And how its written each space, letter and word, each one a star in time within the cosmos of this thought.

~* )O( *~

a dark place
long since graced by the light of thought
a thought, a single ray piercing
many layers of many minds, within your mind
a single thought connected to many
many that live in a place, a microcosm
that still wars
that still hungers
that still yearns for its dreams
and then the thought grows
flames kindled within, maybe still unknown
but you can feel their warmth, inside your heart
and see the change in your minds eye
a grand web through space and time
to travel upon to dreams come and spent
but yet unseen by you @ this time
dreams forgotten and eaten
and shared with many alike
all @ once yet turning, changing, growing, recieding
like a grand sea ebbs and flows
to unknown depths and heights we travel
to share our vibration
ever fluxuating with those around and within us
streaming with this question
which is its own answer

~* )O( *~

Sometimes the Wind is Cold

sometimes the wind is cold and i think ive stopped caring,
but i am crying, so i know that i still care.
but it gets hard to see the colors sometimes.
theres a dog winning in my ear cause hes cold,
he can feel the hurt and the despair.
but he still gets up to eat and lets me brush his coat
and sits by the fire that we do have.
and to know your place,
your center that flies and sometimes slinks
every where and when
and inbetween through space and time,
and to rise to the occasion of that moment
takes something that im not even sure what the word for it is.
i want to live my life like that word
i keep going step by step,
and sometimes im blind.
and sometimes i can see,
sometimes i think i can see
but im really just confused.
and then i need to be stay in.
but somtimes i get lost in myself
and then i need to go out.

~* )O( *~

Dreaming Strong into Unknown Splendor

dreaming strong and tru
thru blues and greens and
greys and bright red with
white and yellow sparks
holding onto the thread as
it travels through the
forrest of thought and
indecision, seeing it
thickin and dance to
the song of the stars
sometimes to frey from lack
of care and misunderstanding
and hardship but disapear-
ing no longer
and i cry for joy and
sadness that i have had and
lost but has changed me
forever, to bring the light
out from under the door till
i can throw it wide in
unknown splendor

~* )O( *~

everything filters in
i hold on to what i need
eating it up in desperation
and yet im still hungry
for what i do not know.
when im in the crowd
when im alone
when im working through the day
and when im traveling through the night
i hunger
for what i do not know.
when its all been accounted for
and the wheels just keep on turnin
and the fires just keep on burnin
and the people keep on fightin
and the people keep on lovin,
and im still livin
for what i do not know
to appreciate the beauty
to take joy in the little things?
in the great things?
to love? to fight?
am i to be a part of such things
setting an example
though my successess and mistakes
i guess i still got things to do
places to go
a part in the show
room to grow
for what i do not know
for what i do not know

~* )O( *~

chased away everyone
who had the sense to see
that though you love me
your no good for me
the seasons are changing
as the land readies for sleep
im slowly letting you go
our dreams i no longer keep
theres a seed in the midst
of the fire and tears
shrouded in the darkness
of my deepest fears
it shall sleep through this winter
under the silent night
no songs to be sung
the darkness empty of light
one day i shall remember
what the light is
warmed by its heat
no longer his

* one can fall in love with the same person more than once :)

~* )O( *~

first hand pain through weatherworn eyes
blood stained hands that cant let go
when is it time to stand in between
the blood stained hands and those weatherworn eyes
one carries the burden the other cant see
one lost to the light the other one sees
i watch on, lost in stride
seeing the pain in those weatherworn eyes
that reflect the pain of those blood stained hands
reaching out to those weatherworn eyes
i know not where i stand

~* )O(*~

the dream is alive
and it flows free
from my finger tips
as the beat runs through me
speaking in ways that only
the beat can share
with words so true
it cant be ignored
letting go into the rhythem of the room
the dream is alive and it flows free

~* )O( *~

i dream of death
as the greatest adventure
and i cherish this life i'm living
as an opportunity
to experience physical delights
to understand the journey
to the heights
of passion and longing
all human desire
to reach out and connect to
something higher
the joy of manifestation
and hard works rewards
to have a goal
a dream to work towards
and now i want to realize
what i have been afraid to see
that life is beautiful
& ugly
that when i die
i will be free

~* )O( *~

let it be free
like dancing
the wind over the seas
let it be free
like fire burns
thoughts and light traveling
let it be free
a voice that sings
a song that moves
a dream that lives on
crossing the space between us
let it be free

~* )O( *~
stars shine in the night unseen
lost in the brilliance of the sun
the pulse of the drum forgotten
@ the sound of a melody so sweet

the slow growth of the trees
a whisper on the wind
coals that smolder long into the night,
the currents that move deep within the sea
wonderous mysteries hidden in plain sight

~* )O( *~

i'm sick of over indulgence
and disposable everything, educated complacency,
indifference in the face of the truth
i'm sick of hate and fear
i'm sick of being angry
i'm sick of seeing the same old shit
being done the same old fucked up ways
over and over and over and over
when we fucking know better
i'm sick of hearing people talk about all they want to do
when thats all they ever do
i'm sick of elitism
of people thinking only about their next selfish fix
i'm sick of being told that im too harsh
that i need to relax
that people don't want to hear about that shit all the time,
they don't want to hear about it ever
unless theres some quick prepackaged easily disposable way of dealing with it
go fucking live ANYWHERE besides America
and get some fucking perspective
and do us all a favor
don't just forget what you've learned
to be comfortably numb in your cubical
there are people out there living and dying
for what they believe in
DO SOMETHING!!!

~* )O( *~

when i've said too much
though it never seems to be enough
the silence shared blankets my senses
oppressive and cold
til im blind with confusion
asking for assisance
im struck dumb
by the emptiness im handed
standing strong i falter
in a forrest of indifference
if a falling tree makes a sound
will it be heard?

~* )0( *~

it always hurts
but i don't want you to see it anymore,
you just use it to hurt me more.
to push me farther from you
speaking smoke and mirrors to hide your tracks

so i stand up and take what belongs to me,
unafraid of the truth and the gifts its difficulties reveal
sending the rest back to its source.
for they are not my burdens to carry

crackling with defiance
in the face of your self imposed ignorance
i challenge your assumptions & misconceptions
preparing for the worst, hoping for the best -
so often they are one and the same.

still it always hurts,
you can see it in my eyes, so you look away.
you can hear it in my voice, i always give myself away.
my strength of heart is endless, though my patience is not.
and for that i apologize, im always working on that.

Still i stand strong,
aware of the dualities of perception,
the multifaceted, multi layered path to the truth
my soul lain bare to the elements of the oncoming storm,
to take it in, to FEEL the PAIN, to UNDERSTAND.
Now transformed, It is this final gift, that i offer in return,
preparing for the worst, hoping for the best,

the rest is up to you

~* )O( *~

like sunlight in dewdrops @ dawn
my heart shows the way
through the spiderweb weave
the grand map of the mind
that sees all that can be...

~* )O( *~

Doing my piece for the day
Doing my piece every day
Trying to find peace in everyday
Trying to find peace in every way

~* )O( *~

its hard to go home
when its not really home
for home is where the heart is
and my heart lies with the dreamers,
the dancers, the healers
the keepers, the weavers
the painters, the singers

We meet when we can
along the way
to dance our dances
and share our knowlegde
healing our hearts
celebrating the dream

As always the time comes
to venture forth once more
with a heaviness in our hearts
for the now carry so many gifts
to be given away to those in need
to the tired, the weak
the starving, the blind
the lost & confused
to those left behind
so that one day we may all be free
to dance the dance
and live the dream

~* )O( *~

its hard to move past the pain of experience
ingrained in every act
so that now each step we take
is in reaction or preparation of the past
though were trying so desperately to make space
for the joys we dream for tomorrow
tending the seeds we sewed so long ago
that strive to break through the shadows of our past
to the warmth of the golden sun

~* )O( *~

here sits a girl
wearing the colors of the world
she holds a bowl in her lap
into which fall tears
from her wide open eyes
feeding a lotus that grows
from within the bowl
the Midnight Lotus
containing a world of dreams

~* )O( *~

Trying to show you where to go
by telling you where i've been.
Wearing a mask of hypocrisy
in an attempt to save you,
from the pain of a hell experienced first hand.
Watching the edge that blurs so easily
where the hunters circle,
trying to save you from yourself
thinking the pain not necessary...
Surely not this way
but who am i to say,
to keep the hunted from the hunter
for wasn't i once caught unawares?
Yet i stand here today with a pain in my heart
still carrying a smile on my face
now with few secrets safely tucked away in my pockets
to be shared with those that share my soul
when the time is ripe.

~* )O( *~

worked up 'round again
flying high
its all going and so am i
but then it happens
it comes back around
bitch clipped my wings
now i'm back on the ground
stuck in a jungle
of never-come dreams
bittersweet memories
sunlight lost as it seems
why they gotta hate
what they got against me
just trying to survive
just tryin' to break free


~* )O( *~

fearing my eyes are closing
as they're now opening
unsure of my feelings
and the reactions they bring
been fighting so long
i forgot the sound of freedom
been angry so long
i'm forgetting how to sing
can't let that happen
i say to my love
and he agrees
and we agree
its time to move on

~* )O( *~


every moment is new

every moment is new,
in each finality
is new breath
to have the opportunity
to have a choice
within the moment
is a great gift
rippling though existence
our actions affect all

~* )O( *~

If i'm gonna sell my soul
its not goin' for cheap
whatever you think you've got to offer
better make sure its what i need
cause i've been burned
like all the rest
and i ain't got time for 2nd best

you think i get in your way
that i open my mouth about things i shouldn't say
well i got news for you
i'm not ashamed of what i've done
i got my own mistakes to pay
and yours are your own
no matter what you try to say

and you may be one of a kind
but are you sure your of my kind
only one way to know
got show your ace
show me whats on your mind
tell it to my face

~* )O( *~

Sweet Dreams

the sky is GRAY like the STATIC in my head
and the ETERNAL buzz in my ears once my NIGHT is still
my scalp itches like my CREATIVE drive
projects SWIRLING in my THOUGHTS -theres so much that i didn't get done
and I THINK
i haven't much to show for the HARD WORK ive put in
and i THINK
yes you do, in SMILES and HUGS and more PEACEFUL DREAMS
dreams REMEMBERED and REALIZED
and i realize that MY DREAMS are still the same
because i REMEMBER when i was a CHILD
and am i really all that different NOW
i KEEP REMEMBERING -soon i'll FORGET AGAIN
thats just HOW IT WORKS, the conveyor belt that is my BRAIN,
ON again, OFF again, ON again, here we go WHIRL
lightning FLASHES through the gray
and im off on the nearest TANGENT
CONNECTING the dots till i find my way HOME
with pockets FULL of odds and ends to add to the COLLECTION
SWEET DREAMS


full and tired and holding on
the edge is tipping, the tide is strong
i'm falling faster than i can see
flying farther than i know to be
and thats ok, cause here we go
you and me up high, down low
swinging through the dreamtime stars
driving round in broke down cars
sleeping deep through daylight heat
dancing hard to that all night beat
and in the still i see your smile
even though its been a while
street smart punk or rock star fame
i'll always love you just the same
<3

*~

For Him

To live and love
through creative acts
and honest words
is the way hes chosen
if they took the time to look a bit closer
or didn't always look the other way
they'd see him pause
to lick the wounds he shares with the world
the ones that never heal
He sleeps most of the day away
stays up late at night
wears beat up shoes and patched up clothes
and if they only looked a little deeper
didn't just assume
they'd see how hard he works
at all he does
Yeah, hes got a sharp tounge
and opinions to match
that hes not afraid to share
but if they only listened a little closer
or weren't so busy talking
they'd hear the counter melody
running throughout it all
They often forget
and they often overlook
but a job well done's a job well done
and thats good enough
for him

*~

The Fallen

Once sleep walking
oblivious to the maze of old
i began to fall
Now i'm digging even deeper
reaching down i open up
and it flows within
into the thick of it now
i realize i'm right where i want to be
where i've longed to be
where i belong
right here right now
within this secret world around me
once hidden
it now surrounds me
has tested and accepted me
i can see in the dark now
i can feel my way through the maze
i know what whispered
to me while i slept
what glitters in the shadows
why some secrets are best kept
in the dark
and the door is there
if you could only see
to reach deep inside
digging even deeper
into the thick of it now
you find the key
waking up
Now you can see

*~

...but for a moment...

sitting in a circle
by a tree of broken mirror
a stranger speaks my mind
with more clarity than i can behold
my thoughts dance forth on his voice
unhindered by my mind
with a smile he falls silent
when i percieve that i can hear no more

during a time of sharing
with a kindred soul
her words spoken as a guide on a jouney
i see the eye of another
with colors as true as the green of this earth
and in realizing such sight i can behold
i forget my way
when i percieve i can look no more

a night full of meaning
with friends forever found
as the dawn light pours through a window
meeting the shadow it shows a door
when i look closer i move closer still
my thoughts dance forth into the unknown
with a sigh the light shifts from my eyes
when i percieve i can walk no more

for a moment
all circles align
within my sight
seeing into the infinite
golden spirals unfold around me
the universe is here and now
with a gasp i slip back into time and space
when i percieve i can see no more