blog-shmog. ramble on...

do you like hip hop? no? do you like me? then read on.

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 03:27:50 GMT

hey yo. sayre is my homie from college, and he's opening for the rza!! can i get a what what?! he is responsible for selling 50 tickets, so if you're going to the show go through him!! the show is on tuesday, dec. 11 @ the independent in SF. here's the message I copied from sayre himself... xo amber The Rza Mister Sayre Ben Flowz and more Live at the Independent in San Francisco, Ca 21+ $25 I am looking at this show as a major opportunity. I have never had the pleasure of opening for someone who has had such a direct influence on the way I think about and make hip-hop music. If you buy your ticket through GSM (either of the links in this bulletin) I will give you a free copy of my CD. Will Call tickets from us directly at www.gradschoolmusic.com here's the link for tickets you can print out: http://www.webookbands.musictoday.com/SeanHealyPresents/calendar.aspx (The service charge through this link is 11 bucks through ticketmaster.) My album is called "The Most I'll Confess." It features Zion I, Richie Cunning, Ashkon, Proe, Rob Rush, Coley Cole and DJ MF Shalem. I am personally on the hook for 50 tickets sold. I am grateful for (not to mention dependent on) all of your support. You are all fabulous. Hit me with any questions, or if you just need to be convinced to make your purchase. Thanks, Sayre 831-325-3485 sayrepio@gmail.com

F-ing arts @ Mighty this friday! Silent art auction, plus DJ Icey & Kraak & Smaak

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 17:04:48 GMT

F-ing finally...this is IT! This is what we've been working towards all year long. The F-ing arts silent auction!! Ever drooled over one of the F-Core's dreamy artists' live paintings at one of the Fringe Collectives' shows? Every wanted to say, "I want to be on you, you sexy artist you!" but couldn't really imagine exactly HOW you would say it? Are you answering F-ing YES to any of these questions? ...I thought you might be. Well. Have I got a solution for YOU. Come bid on your favorite painting at MIGHTY (115 Utah Street @ 15th Street, SF) on Friday, 8.3.07 from 8-10 PM. Cruise around and listen to some epic music by our resident DJs until MIDNIGHT, when the final bids are due! Then rock out the rest of the night with....mutha F-ing DJ ICEY and KRAAK & SMAAK!!! F to the yeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! Support the F-ing arts. Support your friends! and get waaaasted while you're at it, listening to the best music brought to you by the Fringe Arts Collective. F-ing Sweet! xo, F-Core.

ciao bella might be closing!!

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 20:08:55 GMT

this is so sad. one of my favorite restaurants of ALL TIME, EVER!! if you've ever been, you know what I'm talking about. I'm planning on going to the fundraiser on Sunday. If anyone else is interested, let me know! info about the fundraiser: To avoid getting the hook, the restaurant will hold a fundraiser for itself noon to 10 p.m. Sunday at the restaurant at 9217 Highway 9, with local bands, airbrush tattoo art, tarot card readings, raffles and food. the article: http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2006/December/02/local/stories/07local.htm

Bebo. Read it and do it, please!!!!

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 17:28:04 GMT

Heeeeelllo everybooooody.... First, you know you love me and you know that I've never led you astray before. Ehem. That being said, I'm asking you to join YET another myspace-like social network called Bebo. Why, you may ask? Mostly because my awesome friend Jose just started working for them after months of unemployment, and I want him to be employed forever. Jose runs an awesome vlog called Burntwire.tv and is affiliated with The Last Laugh San Francisco and Fair and Balanced. Pretty much anything he touches is really sweet. So usually when he tells me to get into something I just do it without questioning him. Also, here are some other reasons that he's sited. ***************************************************** Bebo is just more than a year old and has lots of cool features. In many ways it is better than myspace. *you can "skin" your profile without having to mess with confusing "code". Either make your own skin in photoshop or use any existing bebo skin. All it takes is two clicks to change your profile skin. *you can draw pictures in a built-in paint program and leave them as comments on people's profile pages. Its a really fun way to make something silly for friends. *you can find cool bands and videos, just like myspace. *You can use bebo without having to deal with the irregularities of myspace. Myspace is always broken! ****************************************************** Besides all that, if you DON'T sign up, you're a racist. And that's no bueno. HIT ME UP!!! my profile is http://Cadmium-Red.Bebo.com ♥ amber

FRINGE CAMP MUSIC LINE UP AT BURNING MAN-

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:19:20 GMT

hey everyone- my camp- the fringe- will be located at 7:30 and anxious. come find me there, or at our music events, found below. xoxo amber ********************************************************************************************************* Date & Time: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 - Sunday, September 3, 2006 7:00 PM Ladies and gentlemen, bad boys and naughty girls, circus freaks and fairies, pixies, and filthy little monkeys..... In 2005, the Fringe banded together to bring "live and evolutionary music" to Burning Man. What that came to mean was going the extra mile in staging, snakes, soundboards, monitors and the unique visual talent of Dr. FX to create an authenitc live music/dj nightclub experience IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' DESERT. We thought about scaling back for about 10 minutes, then decided to take things a step even further in the grand pursuit of enabling musicians of all kinds to express their art on the Playa. This year, the Fringe will unveil our sercet weapon the "Space Ark" (AKA "Sparky"), a mobile stage which will drop anhcor at several locations with full live sound and production. (www.fringecamp.com/spaceark/) In line with Burning Man's "Fear and Hope" 2006 theme, Sparky's mission is to overcome the FEAR of the earth's future destruction by bringing HOPE of carrying 2 of everything to the next planet. We invite you to join us as we costume in pairs at our events (if you can remember:) We would also like to invite fire performers of all kinds to come and show off their talent near our stage, wherever it may be. And we are running away with the circus for a few nights. This year we collaborating side by side with the freaks at the Red Nose District Camp for a few nights to take live performance to an even higher level. We would like to thank all of the musicians and community who have contributed to the task of raising the money needed to pull this off (chiefly the benefit headliners Mike Relm, DJ Icey, Allgood Funk Alliance and Bassnectar and others too numerous to list). We hope that the hard work we are putting into our 2006 events are an indication of the love we have for each and every one of you and for the Burning Man Experience as a whole. It has changed all of our lives for the better and this is our way of paying y'all back. This is our gift to the playa. We invite you to come and enjoy it. Wednesday Night SPARKY LOCATION: Near Rednose District 7:30/Esplanade Sunset-9:30pm: TBD 9:30pm: Shissler and Alibi (House of Lotus) 11:00pm: The Ritual LIVE (funk- the Fringe) 1:00am: Big Dolla Bill (the Fringe) 2:00am: Adam Ohana (An-Ten-Nae) 3:00am-? TBA Thursday Night SPARKY LOCATION: Near Rednose District 7:30/Esplanade Sunset-9:30pm: TBD 9:30pm: Tim Dietz (the Fringe) 10:30pm: Jayo & Kevin Wardell (Cheeky) 11:30pm: Albino - LIVE (14-piece afrobeat band) 2:00am: Mycho Cocoa (the Fringe) 4:00am-sunrise: Hamsa Lila - LIVE (tribal-world) VISUALS: Dr. FX Friday Night SPARKY LOCATION: Near Conexus Cathedral on the Playa Sunset-8:30pm: Ted Schram LIVE (folk-rock) 8:30pm: Tim Dietz (the Fringe) 9:30pm: Dillon Mack and Big Dolla Bill - HIP HOP SET (the Fringe) 10:30pm: The Ritual LIVE (funk - the Fringe) 12:00am: Allgood Funk Alliance (funkweapons.com - D.C.) 1:30am: Blu Sirkut LIVE (feat members of Karl Densons Tiny Universe!) 3:00am: Motion Potion (the Fringe) 4:45am: BLVD. LIVE (breakbeat house - the Fringe) 6:30am-?: Victor Vega (the Fringe) VISUALS: Dr. FX Saturday Night SPARKY LOCATION: At Serpent Mother (Flaming Lotus Girls) Burn-12:30: Motion Potion (the Fringe) 12:30: BLVD. LIVE (breakbeat house - the Fringe) 2:00am: Victor Vega (the Fringe) 3:30am:: KJ Sawka LIVE (drum and bass- Seattle WA.) 4:30am: Mycho Cocoa (the Fringe) 6:00am: Majitope (Lush) 9:00am: TBA VISUALS: Dr. FX Sunday Night SPARKY LOCATION: Near Rednose District 7:30/Esplanade Burn-11:30: Skin LIVE (Cirque Bezerk-Los Angeles) 12:30: Big Dolla Bill (the Fringe) 1:00am: Gooferman LIVE (Clowns with Amps!) VISUALS: Dr. FX Fringe Artists at Other Locations.... BLVD Thursday: Dustfish at 11pm, Center Canp at 2:15am Friday: Daytime at Pink Mammoth Sunday: Otter Oasis at 8-10pm BIG DOLLA BILL Thursday 7:30-10pm at Cirque Bezerk Big Top (Rednose District) TED SCHRAM Wednesday 12:00pm at Center Camp (music) Saturday 12:30pm at Center Camp (spoken word) MOTION POTION Wednesday Midnight-1am at Cirque Bezerk Big Top (Rednose District) Wednesday 3:00AM at House of Lotus Thursday 10-11:30pm with SPECTAYTOR (mini Mutaytor) at Vau de Vire Playground (Rednose District) Friday: 8:30-9:15pm at Opulent Temple (Sunset Set) MYCHO COCOA Wednesday 1-2am at Cirque Bezerk Big Top (Rednose District)

somebody please hook it up!

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 06:55:30 GMT

I"ve been promised THREE burning man tickets, and they've all fallen thru. I really really really don't want to pay more than $200, but I will if I have to. Let me know if any of you can help me! I'm running out of time... :( thanks! amber

is it just me, or...

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 20:34:24 GMT

does it seem like less and less people are going out these days? I feel like when I moved here a little over a year ago, events were always going off. now parties are sparsely attended! what gives? even my burning man camp seems to have low morale these days. the attendance at our events seems to have hit a lull. I always invite people out when I'm doing something, so at least I can claim innocence on this one! c'mon people- we live in a city for a reason. what's the point of staying in? you can sleep when you're dead.

jokes

Wishful_Sinful_Amber — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 22:50:47 GMT

jokes "Axis of Evil" Wednesday Feb 20 2002 Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool." THE AXIS PANDEMIC International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable. With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. "UN Survey" Last month the UN conducted a little survey. All member-countries were asked to answer the following question. " Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? " The survey was a huge failure.... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. "Enron and Capitalism" Capitalism; You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. Enron Venture Capitalism; You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back,with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Now do you see why a company with $62 billion in assets is declaring bankruptcy? -- "The Shit List" Agnosticism (1) What is this shit? Agnosticism (2) Maybe there is shit or maybe it happens; then again, maybe not. Altruism (1) Want some shit? Altruism (2) Let me give you my shit. Americanism Who gives a shit? Amish Shit dost occur. Anal Retentivism Keep your shit to yourself. Anglicanism Our shit doesn't stink. Apathism I don't give a shit. Archimedesmism If I had a lever that's long enough, and a place to stand, I can move the earth -- even if it is full of shit. Aristotlism (1) Once a shit is stretched by an idea, it never again happens in its original shape. Aristotlism (2) Shit is real. Neil Armstrong This is one small shit for me, but one giant heap for mankind. Asatru If shit happens, blame it on Loki. Atheism (1) I don't believe this shit. Atheism (2) There is no shit. Ba'Hai All shit is truly shit. Baptist You are shitting wrong, therefore you'll be punished. Baptist Fundamentalism Shit happens because the Bible says so. Blondism I'm stupid as shit. Bowdlerism **** happens. Branch Davidianism Shit burns. Breathairians We don't have to eat that shit. Buddhism (1) Shit happens. Buddhism (2) If shit happens, it really isn't shit. Bushism (1) What shit? Bushism (2) Read my lips, no new shit. Calvinism Man is nothing but shit. Calvin-and-Hobbesism Man, this shit is fun. Caninism Shit happens in the neighbor's yard. Capitalism (1) Do you buy this shit? Capitalism (2) How much will this shit cost? Capitalism (3) Shit happens, and it'll cost you! Carmensandiegism Where in the world is that shit happening? Cartesianism I shit, therefore I am. Catholicism (1) If shit happens, you deserved it. Catholicism (2) Everybody gets shit. Chauvanism We may be shit, but you can't live without us. Chestertonianism Shit is the farthest thing from shit. Christian Fundamentalism The belief that Hell is where everyone must mind their own shit. Clintonism I didn't inhale the shit! Commercialism Let's package this shit. Communism (1) It's everybody's shit. Communism (2) Everyone's shit is everyone else's shit. Computerism Why won't this fucking shit work? Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens." Constipation My shit just won't happen. Contract Theory If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to shit. Creation Science (1) We have proof that God created all the shit that happens. Creation Science (2) Shit happens all at once. Creation Science (3) ...And the Lord said "Let there be shit"... Dadaism Blue shit rumage Idaho potato. Dadism Your mom knows her shit. Daffy Duckism It's *my* shit! Down, down! Go, go! Miiiiine! Darwinism We came up from shit. Deja Vu I think this shit happened before, but I'm not sure. Descartes I shit therefore I am. Dianetics (1) Even shit can make money. Dianetics (2) Shit your way to a better life. Discordianism This MIGHT be shit, but is instead a fuzzy 1973 Mustang. Dominicans Believe in shit, or we'll boil you in it. Donism I'm gonna' make ya' a shit you can't refuse. Dyslexianism Hits shapnep. Egoism I AM the shit! Egotism My shit is the only shit that matters. Empiricism Shit only happens if I see it happen. Employerism This shit is your fault. Energizer Rabbit Shit happens... and happens... and happens... Environmentalism (1) Recycle this shit. Environmentalism (2) Shit happens, but it's biodegradable. Euphemism Caca happens. Evangelism You need our shit. Evangelicalism (1) I can heal people -- but oooonly with the help of yourrrrr shit. Evangelicalism (2) God has a wonderful plan for your shit. Evolution (1) Shit happens gradually. Evolution (2) Shit is getting better all the time! Existentialism Shit doesn't happen; shit just is. Existentialism, General Your shit is what you make of it. Existentialism, Sartre We are defined by our shit happening. Felinism Shit happens... bury it. Feminism Men are shit. Finagle's Third Law The happening of shit tends to a maximum. The Force Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the shit. Freudianism Shit happens as a result of repressed sexual urges. Frisbeetarianism Shit happens under cars, just out of reach. Garbagism I dump your shit. Geocentrism Our shit is the center of the cosmos! Green Peaceism Save this Shit. GURPSism Our shit can happen in any conceivable place or time. Guruism The master's shit does not stink. Hare Krishnaism Shit happens shit happens shit happens rama rama. Hedonism (1) Fuck that shit; let's party! Hedonism (2) This shit is fun! Heisenbergism Shit happened, we just don't know where. Hinduism (1) This shit happened before. Hinduism (2) This shit is not a religion. It is a Way of Life. Hippyism Make peace with shit. Hitchhikerism The answer to all this shit is 42. Idealism That shit's all in your mind. Illuminism We make shit happen. Interrigationism 'Ve have 'vays of making you shit! Islam If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam, Shi'ite When Shi'ite happens, kill Salman Rushdie. Islam, Sunni Why do Shi'ites always happen to us? Jehovah's Witnesses (1) No shit happens until Armageddon. Jehovah's Witnesses (2) Let me in your house and I'll tell you why shit happens. Jehovah's Witnesses (3) Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read. Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us? Judaism, Reformed Got any Kaopectate? Jungianism All shit that happens is an aspect of the archetypical shit generated consensually by the mass subconscious. Kennedyism Ask not what your country's shit can do for you, but what your shit can do for your country. Kierkegaard This shit is highly improbable; therefore, we should believe it happens. Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a shit... Kinisonism Ooh-shit happens! Oo-ooooooooooo! Thomas Kuhn Shit always happens exactly the way you expect it to. Libertarianism Keep your hands off of my shit. Logical Positivism Shit = S+H+I+T. Lutheranism Catholicism is shit. Marie Antoinette'ism If they can't afford bread, why don't they get shit instead. Marines It's not just shit, it's an adventure. Marvin Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I can't even shit. Marxism, Classical The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna dish it back out again. Materialism Whoever dies with the most shit wins. Mathematicism Necessary and sufficient conditions for shit to occur are: 1) Shit must exist and be continuous in a domain D 2) No shit must exceed SHIT on the boundary of D. McCarthyism Are you now, or have you ever been, a shit? Josh McDowell-ism (1) Anyone who investigates the evidence for this shit and doesn't see the truth as plain as day is a nincompoop. Josh McDowell-ism (2) Anyone who investigates the evidence for this shit and doesn't agree with me must want to have sexual intercourse outside of marriage. Mennonite None of this modern shit now. Momism You'll eat this shit and like it! Moonies Only happy shit really happens. Mormonism (1) Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit. Mormonism (2) God sent us this shit. Murphism Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place. Narcissism My shit don't stink. Native American This shit is sacred when it happens. New Age (1) Why did I happen to create this shit? New Age (2) This isn't shit if I REALLY believe it's chocolate. Newton's First Law Shit that is happening tends to keep happening. Newton's Second Law You have to push to make shit happen. Newton's Third Law Every shit that happens has an equal and opposite shit happening. Neitzscheism (1) If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not shit. Neitzscheism (2) A man without a shit is not a man. Neitzscheism (3) Shit is dead! Nihilism Everything is shit. NIMBYism Your shit's not gonna happen here. Nixonism (1) Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it. Nixonism (2) I am not a shit. Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south. Oat Branism Your shit will keep happening. Objectivism Shit=Shit Occultism We eat our shit. Optimism (1) That shit won't happen to me. Optimism (2) This shit, too, will pass. Paganism (1) Shit happens. Accept it. Paganism (2) Shit is a part of nature and makes things grow. Panglossism This is the best of all possible shits. Paranoia Shit happens because it's a plot. Pascalism We are just shit. But we are thinking shit. Patriotism (1) My shit, right or wrong. Patriotism (2) Give me liberty, or give me shit! Patriotism (3) Give me shit, or give me death! Pee-Weeism You can't arrest me for that shit! Perotism We're in deep shit. Pessimism That shit is going to happen. Platonism There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image. Politically Correctism (1) Don't call it shit. That's not nice. Call it "Nutritionally-Deprived Output." Politically Correctism (2) Nutritionally Corrected Output happens. Positive thinking Shit is what you make it. Pragmaticism It may be shit, but it works. Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else. Psychology I can help you deal with the shit that is happening. PTL Club Send us your shit. Quaker Quayleism Shite happense. Rastafarian (1) Shit happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me. Rastafarian (2) Let's roll that shit up and smoke it. Reaganism I don't recall if shit happened. Reaganism, Nancy Just say, `Shit happens.' Republicanism We earned our shit. Robinism Holy shit, Batman! Rousseau Only natural shit is worth shit. Schroedingerism Shit does not happen until you smell it. Scooperism If your shit happens here, you gotta pick it up. Secular Humanism Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation. Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays. Shakespeare To shit or not to shit, that is the question. Sherlock Holmes I know where this shit came from. Shinto Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect. Skinnerism If eat then shit. Socrates I am shit. But I know I am shit. Solipsism (1) All this shit is a creation of my imagination. Solipsism (2) The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens. Spockism The shit of the many outweighs the shit of the few... or the one. Spockism, Reformed The shit of the one outweighs the shit of the many. Dr. Spockism Encourage your child to make shit happen. Spoonerism Hit shappens. Stalinism The state treats you like shit. Stoicism (1) This shit is good for me. Stoicism (2) Shit happens -- deal with it. Sturgeon's Law 90% of everything is shit. Subgenius Shit happens -- SO WHAT? GIVE ME SOME SLACK! Surrealism Shit is shiny and shaped like a Buick. Taoism The shit that happens is not the true shit. Televangelism Your tax-deductible donation could stop this shit from happening. Thermodynamics: First Law The shit that happens cannot be created or destroyed. Thermodynamics: Second Law When shit happens, it happens from a place of more shit to a place of less shit. Thermodynamics: Third Law Disorder is the inevitable result of shit happening. Totalitarianism Shit doesn't happen unless we say so. Trekkism, The Original Series To boldly shit where no shit has happened before. Trekkism, The Motion Picture(s) This shit is happening again. Trekkism, The Next Generation This shit happens again every week. Trekkism, Deep Space 9 Shit happens on the other side of the wormhole. Trekkism, Voyager Shit happens on the other side of the galaxy. Twelve-Step Programs God, grant me the serenity to deal with this shit. Unitarianism There's only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want. Unix Shit Happened. Core dumped. Ursism Shit happens in the woods. Utilitarianism (1) Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number. Utilitarianism (2) Let's make the best of this shit. Vacuum That shit sucks Vandalism I'm gonna wreck this shit! VMS Want to make shit happen? No Privilege for Attempted Operation. Voodooism Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you. Voyeurism Look at that shit happening. Waldoism Where *is* that little shit? Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for shit to happen. Yuppieism It's my shit! All mine! Zen What is the sound of one shit happening? PU! Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ And finally, the Argument From Shit: 1. If God were omnibenevolent, he wouldn't want shit to happen. 2. If God were omnipotent, he would be able to prevent shit from happening. 3. Shit Happens. 4. Therefore, God is not both omnibenevolent and omnipotent.