Random Crap I picked Up Along The Way.

Merry giving thanks day !!!!!

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:28:35 GMT

Thank you...!!!! " ...the more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are a victim of resentment, depression, and despair. Gratitude will act as an elixir that will gradually dissolve the hard shell of your ego - your need to possess and control - and transform you into a generous being. The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnanimous - large souled." Sam Keen

El Dia De los Muertos

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 16:39:50 GMT

People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad. ~Marcel Proust El Dia de los Muertos, All Saints Day, and Halloween by Robert Wilkinson To me and many others, this is one of the more sacred moments of the year. It is Autumn, with its falling leaves, shorter days, and diminished vitality due to less Solar energy for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere. This period, known by many names, is a time to honor the dead. The original intent of this sacred time had nothing to do with giving the candy industry a boost between Columbus Day and Thanksgiving. I've always felt these last two were very peculiar "holidays," since the former celebrates the beginning of enslavement and disease of the original inhabitants of this continent, the latter a distorted excess complete with Aggie football. We inherited Halloween, All Saints Day, and all Soul's Day (mostly forgotten) from our ancestors, but their true meaning has been ignored by our market-driven culture. The true meaning of this time is found in the celebration of El Dia de los Muertos, or "Day of the Dead." It's not really a day, but a period where we can celebrate and honor those who have passed away, our loved ones across space and time. When I first learned of this profound time in Texas many years ago, I was taught it is a time of the year to light candles, create shrines to honor the dead, and focus on the omnipresent power of the Eternal Life. I learned to bear witness to the universal fact that we all will eventually re-join our loved ones, and in our honoring of the dead we also will be honored in future "Dias de los Muertos" by those we leave behind. It is not a morbid time, nor a period where we should indulge in "scary" horror stories or the bizarre associations with deviltry and ghosts and haunted places. Rather this is a point in the year where we should honor our timeless bond of love with those who have departed this Earth and grieve or celebrate as needed. It is a time to bear witness to our eternal nature, a profound moment of connectedness with where we came from and where we're going, and all the life and love we all are together. It's a great time to re-experience that we are ETERNALS, having human experiences. We have a body, we have feelings, we have a mind, but we ARE Souls, and our nature is Light-Love-Life. So today and tomorrow, while others are eating candy, shopping, or talking about the white noise of life in this 4 dimensional reality, take a moment (or three) to light a candle, remember your loved ones, and celebrate the eternity of life, light, and love. It'll help you feel that you're very, very alive (and always will be!). Aum and blessings.

If you happen to be at ~Lightning In A Bottle~ this weekend...

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 10 May 2007 19:59:18 GMT

Come by and see me. I will be vending some friends wares all weekend long. xo gayle www.shamaliving.com www.karmakulture.com www.minawear.com www.starfloweressences.com www.dianereifer.com

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 5: NATIONAL STARBUCKS CALL-IN DAY

wowandflutter69 — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:29:40 GMT

Tell Starbucks to stop lacing its coffee drinks with Monsanto's genetically engineered Bovine Growth Hormone. Tell them that injecting this cruel and dangerous drug into dairy cows is morally unacceptable. By calling them and telling them you'll stop going to their cafes if they don't drop rBGH, you'll let Starbucks know that rBGH is bad for business. Call Starbucks at: 1(800) 235-2883 Learn more: http://www.organicconsumers.org/Starbucks/index.cfm

***

wowandflutter69 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:40:39 GMT

"Everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. Don't let the world judge you too much." Maude~Harold and Maude

FREE HUGS !

wowandflutter69 — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 22:02:28 GMT

Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives. In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal. As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring. In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person... Music by Sick Puppies. (Visit http://sickpuppies.net or http://myspace.com/sickpuppies for the music) ------------------------------------------------- PS. The response to this video has been nothing short of overwhelming and touching. Hugs to every single one of you who messaged. There has been thousands of emails from all over the world by people seeking to participate in the Free Hugs campaign and asking for permission. You do not need permission. This is the peoples movement, this is *your* movement. With nothing but your bare hands you can make THE difference. Imagine all the people. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

"No one will really be free until nerd persecution ends." ~ Gilbert, Revenge of the Nerds

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:55:19 GMT

"Oh, smell the people!' yelled Dean with his face out the window, sniffling. 'Ah, God! Life!'" ~Jack Kerouac,On The Road

wowandflutter69 — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 18:40:25 GMT

Cherish things while you still have them, before they're gone, and you realize how precious they really are. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry because it won't last forever either. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Never cross a bridge without knowing how to swim the tides. If you could not add years to your life Add life to your years. (Take care of each other !) http://whereareyoucamping.com/

The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing ~ Frank Zappa, You Are What You Is

wowandflutter69 — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:30:59 GMT

While you WORK THE WALL WORK THE FLOOR WORK THE PIPE IN SERIOUS PAIN . . . Some take the bible For what it's worth When it says that the meek Shall inherit the Earth Well, I heard that some sheik Has bought New Jersey last week 'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin' Is Hare Rama really wrong If you wander around With a napkin on With a bell on a stick An' your hair is all gone . . . (The geek shall inherit nothin') You say yer life's a bum deal 'N yer up against the wall . . . Well, people, you ain't even got no kinda Deal at all 'Cause what they do In Washington They just takes care of NUMBER ONE An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU You ain't even NUMBER TWO Those Jesus Freaks Well, they're friendly but The shit they believe Has got their minds all shut An' they don't even care When the church takes a cut Ain't it bleak when you got so much nothin' (So whaddya do? Hey!) Eat that pork Eat that ham Laugh till ya choke On Billy Graham Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham . . . They're all a waste of time 'N it's your ass that's on the line (IT'S YOUR ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE) Do what you wanna Do what you will Just don't mess up Your neighbor's thrill 'N when you pay the bill Kindly leave a little tip And help the next poor sucker On his one way trip . . . SOME TAKE THE BIBLE . . . (Aw gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!)

Real World

wowandflutter69 — Sun, 07 May 2006 21:49:40 GMT

People talk about anarchy And taking up a fight Well I'm afraid of things like that I lock my doors at night I don't rape, and I don't pillage Other peoples' lives I don't practice what you preach And I won't see through your eyes You want to change the world By breaking rules and laws People don't do things like that In the real world at all You're not a cop, or a politician You're a person too You can sing any song you want But you're still the same I can't think of anything That makes me more upset People talk all this rhetoric Forgive but not forget I don't rape, and I don't pillage Other peoples' lives I don't practice what you preach And I won't see through your eyes Husker Du-Metal Circus-1983

Happy 4:20!

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 18:26:20 GMT

I know it is Hitlers birthday but I just found out it was Miros! :o) http://www.phish.net/faq/420explanations.html

I went to push the envelope, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...

wowandflutter69 — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 21:46:46 GMT

Ok. I have NO idea if this is a viable place to ask for help. But I am gonna try. My dilemma. I have been asked to participate in a special program that is coming from County Harbor/UCLA in the form of a chronic pain clinic.So special that they only work with four people a day. They came to me. Not the other way around. It is a form of "holistic" clinic that is working on the body issues(like my tumors) at the same time they are going deep into the psychiatric side of me. Everyone thinks this is a strong step in stopping the negative cycles I have been on and healing once and for all. I tend to agree. This is a gift that I can't ignore. But. They want me to sign over my rights to any and all evaluations. Something along the lines of "permission to use data for evaluation, research,and publication". I have signed this stuff before allowing my surgeries to be photographed and studied. But. For some reason, my cognitive liberties seem to be more of an issue for me then my physical body parts. Along the lines of my ultimate privacy. I have no use for "big brother". I have seen first hand what our justice system does to people, including me. I have, also, seen first hand what information can do when it is in the hands of others and they are in control(i.e. while I was in jail). I am not a fan of authority,and I have aquired quite a nasty sense of mistrust of "files" that have my name on them. Especially, when I never get to see or read them. Don't get me wrong. I understand that these people are helping me. I will also be helping them in return. Knowing my "story" of recovery will possibly help others is a bonus. A joint venture for all involved. I am not a fan of titles. I have been treated to a few so far Dyslexia, ADHD, PTSD, Chronic Fatigue, IBS, Fybromyalgia. I won't own any of them except as a way to gain access to information when I do research for self help. They(UCLA) have already run by me a series of more potential names they want to give me, BiPolar, Manic Depressive, OCD. Geez. How many ways can you spell "trouble"? I like to view it all as the recipe for me, in 40 different parts. Or, street names for all the crossroads. In contrast. So far, none of my outside alternative doctors/practitioners have addressed anything by name. "It" just is. "It" is not who I am and we move on. "It" is something that has to be dealt with. That's all. Like brushing your teeth. We laugh about "it". They(UCLA) want to have me come in for days and days of testing over a period of months. I have terrible test anxiety as it is. It is the reason I have not finished traditional college. I have no retention when put in tight spots. I am totally hands on and I break at the first sign of a clipboard and notes. Who knows how I am going to be knowing my mental habits are in question. They are excited at working with me.They want to help keep my peas from running into my mashed potatoes. All in the name of science. I have made it clear I am not taking drugs, at any time, and they are even more delighted. I actually want to feel the pain, just right now. It will give me the perspective to know when it is gone. I welcome the help. I really need it . That is something you will very rarely here me say out loud. I am usually the one helping. That is part of the control issues I have been having. That is who I am. I'm torn. I am feeling like I will be exposed and cold. However, I am pretty desperate to get my life back in shape. Should I give someone V.I.P access to my head in hopes of ending this madness? Would you? Has anyone here ever gone through such extensive amounts of psychiatric testing? What are the tests like and what do they really mean in the grand scheme of things? What is normal, anyway? Would you trust a county mental health system, especially when the biggest parts are directed from people you will never meet? Is this a mountain or a molehill kind of thing? It's not like I will ever be the president one day...

Drive by wisdom.

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 18:40:26 GMT

You know those cute little LED signs that are littered all over town? The ones that are hoping to help you feel better while sitting at a standstill in traffic? Or just sell you on something you probably don't really need, like a car? Well, I finally saw something worth sharing. I was even going so slow in my car, that I could right it down... 7 values to live by. (in no special order) Faith Hope Integrity Courage Enthusiasm Love Happiness Enjoy the post-retrograde glow!

wowandflutter69 — Fri, 24 Mar 2006 17:44:23 GMT

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. ~ Eric Hoffer

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:48:31 GMT

How do YOU say THANK YOU? I seem to have run out of new and refreshing ways to show gratitude, to myself and to others. http://www.elite.net/~runner/jennifers/thankyou.htm

May the Forces of Evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ George Carlin

wowandflutter69 — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:44:02 GMT

Joke button eject button bellybutton button fly hot button panic button on/off button push button snooze button peyote button delete button buttons n bows Buttons, buttons everywhere. I'll push yours if you push mine. Some buttons take you up to heaven. Some lead straight to armageddon. "Buttons initiate an immediate action. If a button initiates an indeterminate process, the button should be dimmed until the process is complete and status feedback should be provided." ~ Apple developer document. Amen. 2 thoughts, for 2 cents. Something I learned this past weekend while watching Alex Patterson. They don't call him a Dr. for nothing. Sometimes you have things you want and need to convey, from the heart and the head. You push lots of buttons hoping to get the messages right. Sometimes the buttons fail. It gets confusing. Maybe even uncomfortable. You get upset. You pound on some more buttons, sometimes the very same ones. Still not the right response. Then you have to walk away. Maybe even have another drink, or two. Then you get to see who is left. Come back out to greet those that didn't leave all disgusted from the button pushing gone awry. It's OK. When they really love you, they will understand. Then you blow them away. And then. A friend loses a father. No amount of buttons could keep him here. You witness rainbows after the storm. And the message is, "What I've learned: Make sure that you tell your family and friends that you love them as often as possible." http://www.cafepress.com/philosophy_shop/920860

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. ~ Frederick Douglass

wowandflutter69 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:30:30 GMT

Some people don't like my style. That might really mean they don't like me, but can't find it in them selves to be honest about it. I make them feel wierd. If I make them feel anything at all. They harbor judgements, secret hate, jealousness, spite. Would rather I not use my eyes to see, ears to hear, and above all, my mouth to speak. Who the hell do they think they are? What do they mean to me? Why are they paying such close attention to somebody that causes them so much grief? When did MY growth become such an issue for so many that claim to care for me? Why is sharing a one way street for some people? Do they even have the faintest clue how to listen? All of a sudden bridges are burning all around me and I don't remember lighting a single match. A race was started but I must have been daydreaming when the starting gun went off. I must be the problem, not the solution, huh? Do I now have to live my life continuing to say I'm sorry for being ME? I got off the wheel I was running on a long time ago. I was tired. It was going no where, fast. Caused a few deaths along the way. Started dating myself, heavily. It is a rocky relationship, me and I . Sometimes it makes me cry, just like all serious things in life. Personal honesty has and will never be rewarded to its truest sense. Leading by example will just get you stoned in the town square. But who gives two ratshits ? Think about this next time I fly by. You might think I'm waving, but really, I'm trying to keep from drowning. I'll keep that in mind for you, too. Look what you get when you google DIGNITY REGRET PITY SELF ESTEEM http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap6/chap6q.htm http://www.san.beck.org/Life9-Emotion.html http://www.paho.org/english/ped/stressin6.pdf http://www.claudesteiner.com/forms.htm http://www.carsonellis.com/index.html BOO!

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.~ Nietzsche

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 16 Mar 2006 23:55:11 GMT

For any of us that have ever suffered a setback. "So often, we believe that we have come to a place that is void of hope and void of possibilities, only to find that it is the very hopelessness that allows us to hit bottom, give up our illusion of control, turn it over, and ask for help. Out of the ashes of our hopelessness comes the fire of our hope. Blue Flames Base for Flame Like the mighty phoenix, Once again I rise from the flames set to destroy me & take flight. I am Stronger Glorious Powerful Victorious." http://www.journeyofhearts.org/jofh/butterfly/blaze http://www.monstrous.com/monsters/phoenix.htm http://www.alchemywebsite.com/alcbirds.html http://www.lila.info/document_view.phtml?document_id=67

Celebrate!

wowandflutter69 — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 20:16:22 GMT

Today is the day of Pi. Infinite posibilities. Never ending. Good and bad . Chaos and control. It is also a day to honor life and death. Physical and psychic. Perfect time for some Taoism!! http://www.thedeathknight.com/Personal/Taoism.html http://www.exploretaoism.com/Goodevil.htm http://www.taoism.net/sanctuary/books/vintaste.htm http://www.thegreattao.com/html/taoofforgottenfooddiet.html

I stood tip-toe upon a little hill.

wowandflutter69 — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 20:31:27 GMT

An ode to Gods and Godesses. Flowers and Spring. Quite a little ditty. http://www.bartleby.com/126/2.html

" First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule, Daniel-san not mine. ~ Mr. Miyagi "

wowandflutter69 — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 05:53:02 GMT

Friday. FRIday.FRIDAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY...............

wowandflutter69 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:40:41 GMT

My cats think this is funny.

some days all you REALLY need is a rainbow unicorn pinata and a couple of friends to help you whack it to pieces

wowandflutter69 — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 16:50:33 GMT

Narcissism and Sustainability

wowandflutter69 — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 17:23:49 GMT

In a never ending quest to "repair" myself and live life in the fullest, happiest, healthiest sense, I have been driven to a few extremes, all in the name of what Tibetan Buddhism calls "Transformational Process". Now, when I reflect on my current lifes situations, I have to go back inside and dive even deeper than before. I have so much shit to own. My health and my mental state are one in the same, and they are both suffering. Pain is my standard and I am raising the bar. Kinda like doing the limbo, but going higher instead of going lower. I'm on the floor again and the music stopped. All the party goers went home. So. Which direction from here? Up,up,up my friends. And with a mother loving smile on my face for christ sakes. That has lead me to look for some words to apply to my desperate need to sustain myself without EGO being the only driving force. I am a leader that can't lead myself. What is the point? Success. That's the point. Leave the EGO at the door. I hope someone finds this of interest. We as a whole will never find peace or freedom unless we can join forces and create from a collective sense of self, instead of a self-centered collective. Sustainability is a state of mind, not just a skill of will. http://ceres.ca.gov/tcsf/pathways/chapter12.html#introduction http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/normal.html

today I will use the mirror to look at myself, instead of using it to maginify others

wowandflutter69 — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 02:57:03 GMT

Jerks who Fuck with Your Mind - and Your Compassion: the Emotional Blackmailer by Ria Keenan I don't know which is worse - the "Patronising Mind-Fucker" or the "Co-Dependent Emotional Blackmailer". Both are jerks, and both types can be male or female, from any walk of life. Perhaps the emotional blackmailer is the worst because at least with the patronising mind fucker you KNOW s/he is being a bastard, you just can't put your finger on it. Emotional blackmailers, once they have sucked you into their web of control, don't irritate you - they worry you, stress you out, make you feel guilty and try to suck the life blood out of you. To ensure you do not get to this low pass in life, here is a list of "DANGER!!! EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE AHEAD!" signposts to look out for: 1. S/he can be very charming and seem to want to rush into friendship/a relationship with you. This is how they suck you in: "I'm tired of my other so-called friends, they've done nothing but bad-mouth me behind my back or they've just abandoned me for no reason. You are someone I can trust. We really get on well together. Let's go get something to eat, get to know each other better." Sounds cosy doesn't it? But notice the distancing of the two of you from others- the "so-called friends" - even if they're your friends too. S/he wants to isolate you from outside influences so they can have your undivided attention for their problems/crises/secrets. 2. People from his/her past never have a good word to say about him/her. This should be a huge warning flare - but hey - the emotional blackmailer has been nothing but charming and supportive to you. This must be the "Pyscho ex-wife/husband/girfriend/boyfriend/friends" the emotional blackmailer has warned you about - even if you know these people are sane and good judges of character. You figure they must just have had a misunderstanding. WRONG!!! They speak from bitter experience - and there is nothing more bitter than having your emotions USED by an emotional blackmailer. LISTEN TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY - and you'll be suprised at what your charming new girl/boyfriend/friend has done in the past. If you bring up past incidents to the emotional blackmailer he/she will either deny it entirely, or say that the other person is to blame (no personal responsiblity). If they admit the incident happened, they will claim that the other person brought it on his/herself by being a)selfish, b)psycho, or c) that they actually -wanted- it, and now they're lying to try to get back at him/her "because they are jealous". 3. S/he is very emotionally deep. No one cares as much or as deeply about things (especially you) as s/he does. The emotional blackmailer will have a lot of books by "really depressed people" on their shelf. They will either know them by heart or just keep them around to prove their "deepness". Expect to find a lot of Bukowski. They will listen to "dark" music (the Cure seems to crop up a lot, but this is no denigration of the average Cure fan -that's a whole different guide)- if this includes a lot of dramatic classical music, so much the better in order to impress you with their emotional depth. This is to provide the emotional blackmailer with a "depressed" kind of persona - to let you know even before they talk about it in detail, that they get depressed sometimes and occasionally contemplate suicide. It is also to impress on you how genuine and sincere they are - other people are such 'fakes' 4. "I'm Just So Confused" The emotional blackmailer uses this excuse to get you to listen to their never-ending stream of problems. At first it seems like you're helping them out as a friend/lover, then it becomes a full time counselling job. It is bullshit. --It's just one more way of putting major and minor decisions into someone else's (usually your's) hands. And then using the emotional blackmail device of "but I trusted you when you said this would be the best thing to do" if things go wrong. Or it is one more way of keeping you around when you really want an answer to an ultimatum: ie "either commit or I leave" "but I can't make up my mind, I'm confused about it. Give me some more time to make a decision that's best for both of us - stop rushing me you're making me upset" The other tactic employed is "If I'm confused, you must really be having a hard time with it" and encouraging you to bare your soul. The information the emotional blackmailer receives during this seemingly confidential and mutually trusting session will be stored away and, sooner or later, be used against you to the blackmailer's advantage or out of spite when things go wrong (and they WILL). 5. "Help me, I'm a failure, I'm so sorry." The emotional blackmailer appeals to your sense of compassion by regularly appearing miserable and depressed: "I've screwed everything up my whole life. I can't believe it's happening again" They want your sympathy. Everyone has these days. NOT everyone has them every week. When this starts happening on a regular basis tell him/her to get off their butt and start doing something about it. You can only wallow for so long there with them before it gets really tiresome. Do not be sympathetic - suggest positive things and if all they want is your shoulder to cry on yet again then walk away. It is a childish way to get more attention from you. 6. "The reason I'm nasty/an alcoholic/a beater/drug addict is because you make me do it/we're co-dependent." The emotional blackmailer will take absolutely no responsibilty for their problems - YOU are supposed to solve them. YOU are supposed to support them by not doing any of the things that even hint at letting them be tempted by their addiction. And if you don't, or life is just too stressful, then you drive them to the bottle/violence/drugs. If they are trying to get your sympathy for just having beaten you up/yelled at you they will say they can't help themselves, their parents/former partners did it to them and they don't know any different. HORSESHIT! There comes a time when you take responsiblity for your own life - otherwise you become your abuser. TELL THEM TO GROW UP AND GET OVER IT. Then leave. Or throw them out until they get help. Unfortunately they may have sought help from books that tell them they are "co-dependent" ie that again, the other person is responsible for/contributing to their bad behaviour: "You have a drink when you get home so I can't help but get drunk too. You're dragging me down" Hello! - there is a big difference between sharing a drink after work and drinking until you are totally drunk. One or two drinks is not bad. It does not instantly make you into an alcoholic - you are not the emotional blackmailer or his/her parents/former partners - you are fine it is the blackmailer who has the problem NOT EVERYONE ELSE. 7. "There's no one I can talk to but you" You are tired of playing camp counsellor to this sad fool. You try to change the subject when their favourite moan starts coming into your conversations, but the emotional blackmailer won't let you get away that easily. Because their behaviour has alienated them from most of their former friends they will whine "but you're the only one I can talk to about this. No one else understands/cares". You try to suggest others who could help, but they strike each suggestion down - it is you and only you who can help. You start to feel trapped. LEAVE NOW!! You CANNOT help them all by yourself. And YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. It is the emotional blackmailer's responsibility to seek someone who is willing (or PAID BY THE HOUR) to help them if they really are having bad problems. If they will not listen to suggestions they get professional help then they are probably not having a serious problem or they are fixated with you finding all the answers/being THE answer for them. 8. CRYING Everyone hates this ploy. Male or female, it is embarrassing when someone else uses crying regularly to get you to do something or to guilt you into staying with them. It is the emotional blackmailer's most useful tool. Tell him/her to stop snivelling and start acting like an adult, not a little brat. 9. The Silent Treatment Also an effective tool. You come home, there is no reply to any questions or greetings. When you ask what is wrong you are met by a sullen stare or the emotional blackmailer moves away from you or leaves the room. There is a lot of heavy sighing. You ask again and again what is the matter and you are met with "you know what you've done" or "if you don't know/can't guess, then I'm not going to tell you", or "if you were more sensitive to MY needs, you'd understand", or the -classic-, "If you REALLY loved me, you'd KNOW...." We're really communicating here! But the emotional blackmailer certainly has your undivided attention and concern - you are having to think about everything you have done over the past week and try to remember what you have not done. They want you to PULL every detail out of them, and they get off on the control and power they have over you at this point. Some will not even break out of their melancholy state until they have YOU in tears or yelling and upset with them. This is time consuming and irritating in the extreme. If you do get angry and frustrated, they will adopt a victim stance: "Oh, and now you are yelling at me - just look at what I have to put up with on top of everything else!" The best way to combat this blackmail ploy is not to take the bait - keep on talking merrily away to the blackmailer until they are driven nuts and forced to ask, "Aren't you going to ask why I'm not talking to you?" to which you say "No, I've been enjoying the break from you WHINING actually!" 10. "If You Leave/Take that Job/Do Something I Don't Like I'll 'Do Something Silly'" People DO get depressed - who doesn't? But people who like to give the impression they would kill themselves over something or someone they "Care Deeply About" are assholes who have not gotten over their teenage heartbreak about Kurt Cobain. It is a deliberate and childish emotional blackmail device, so look out for it. When the emotional blackmailer says s/he will 'do something silly' or even 'I'll kill myself' this is a definite threat - to you, not to themselves. They are bringing out the big guns. They are trying to get you to be responsible for their suicide/them smashing up the house/getting injured while driving drunk/whatever -- if you do not do as you are told. This is about the nastiest thing someone can do to you - it is NOT a sign of devotion or eternal friendship: It is the most scary and effective method of controlling what you do or don't do short of chaining you up in a dungeon. Usually this threat is made more than once. People from his/her past will say they heard the same thing. Leave immediately and don't call or look back - you will find the blackmailer does not kill him/herself (but if s/he does so much the better!). They may smash up your stuff and try to blacken your name but then they will find someone else to manipulate.