So here i stand
at the guest kiosk in the rapid city library
for my 30minute timsslot
where the rental car guy dropped me off while i await a car that can return me and the guys and the gear to denver.
i thought in the midst of broke down rental car purgatory and what better to do than rant and rave on tribe.

Got a lotta sun at the sundance and prayed hard and helped the people pray harder.
Supporting ari and the medical camp.
Grieving the loss of ari's dad sifu doc rosen with some of the folks who knew him best-
the warriors of the american indian movement at chief crowdog's paradise on the rosebud res....
where Doc volunteered when he was our age to stand with AIM at Wounded Knee.
Doc earned the respect
and brotherhood of some incredible folks,
treading (and treating) where few white folks have gone without offense,
Doc opened the doorway for those who come in a good way.
Doc passed on to us some strict habits of how to be respectful of these traditions.
Because he earned so much trust,
the family who adopted him as brother now welcomes his son and our camp as family, and that continues to amaze me...

Doc brought me there when I was 22 in 2002-
fresh out of treesitting, and college, effectively homeless- i mean, on the rainbow trail ;-)
in my all black outdoor gear with p-cord tying my knife to my carharts pocket and with only a few bucks to my name-
i mean, living in voluntary simplicity-
with a duffel bag of climbing gear ready to travel the country doing action trainings
i asked how I could build alliances back up between environmentalists and native americans.
Where earth first and rainbow family have both burned bridges with old disrespect, cultural appropriation, and lack of reciprocity,
Doc believed that we may make amends somehow, that we might have to someday.
Doc must have seen something in me, in my enthusiastic and naive quest to help rebuild the bridges,
cause next thing I knew he brought me to the Sundance.

So this was my fifth year as the "camp mom" basically the chef for the medics-
When i first arrived all bright eyed and ready to have these meetings about alliances,
Doc told me to shut up and listen. That the best thing i could do was chop wood and carry water for a few years,
let folks see me work.
The time would come later to talk about alliance.
I was planning to have those talks with Doc at my side,
and I shed tears over the fact that I must have learned all I needed to learn before he left this world.
I must carry on that work I came to do with the best guidance I got along the way.

And work we do-
Ari and the Medical Staff did an amazing job treating the families who are supporting the Sundancers
and keeping an eye on any dancers pushing their bodies to the limits
in the beautiful ceremony of fasting and honoring of the elements and the tribes.
While Crowdog's dance is one of the few that is open to outsiders-
Europeans, Africans, Japanese, South Americans, Aztecs all dance here-
and that has been controversial among some leaders of other tribes, it has its high and low points for sure-
I continue to be impressed amongst any bullshitters and politricks
with the amount of respect that there IS present.
I am inspired by the new generation of chiefs and women warriors coming up
who are doing their best to train in the old ways and keep these ceremonies alive and true.
While I have some criticism of some of these outsiders who disrespect the traditions- out of ignorance or out of laziness-
I feel inspired by those folks who do follow the teachings
by the openness of some Native people to the outsiders who follow the teachings in a good way
and by the strength of the Sundancers who stand up strong in an example to follow of strength and sacrifice and prayer.
I feel honored to be welcomed there by some of the most discerning of the leaders-
because of the example Doc walked of utter respect and service,
and Ari's humble step up to lead our camp in that way,
our camp staff is welcomed as family who know how to support the people in a good way.

I am humbled to pray in that circle- this was our second of four years in memorial-
praying for Uncle Doc's journey in the spirit world,
and myself praying to live up to all that I've been taught and all that I came for.
An overwhelming task- to build alliances,
that in the times to come I may be a link between our patchworked tribe and the true warriors of this land.
This prayer brought me to my knees in that circle.
And I realized, that falling to my knees- literally- while giving my offering, was a wakeup call.
I strive to live up to that purpose, it is time that I speak up for why I have come.
I spent four years shutting up and listening, to the point of feeling too shy to speak-
after all, who is this white girl anyway and what right do I have to ask for the time of these great warriors young and old.
but, I got shaken up this year and called to action.

a subtle shift, but a natural one, my fifth year there and folks have started to want to learn my name.
They see me work, carry water, pickup trash, run for medical supplies, and feed the docs.
I dance in support, and this year I fasted with the dancers- hard to fast as the camp chef ;-)
-and folks started to ask me what I do.

slowly, and far more shy than i sound on my tribe blog,
I began to speak of all of you.
of the folks planting fruit trees,
of the folks saving trees,
of the folks growing food and medicines,
of the folks who know how to feed thousands of people a day in the woods,
of the folks drumming the heartbeat,
of the folks serving in the indigenous places of the world,
of the folks sitting in ceremony.
and i began to say when the time comes to work together for the earth, that I am here to make a link.

and so I prayed with all of you there in that arbor. i prayed for you to be strong and follow your own purpose.
i prayed for the children.
i prayed that we may all network and stand together.
i prayed that we may all shut up and listen.
i prayed that we may all chop wood and carry water and plant seeds
and honor the teachings that each of us has been gifted from our various lineages,
that we may do all this in a good way.

and i don't mind- not too much anyway- that my rental broke down.
i spent the night by the lake in the lightning storm in the black hills,
i got a ride on the back of one of the many bikes here for the rally in sturgis, where mccain and kidrock shared the stage last night.
i got a later flight out of denver into oakland.
i got a chai latte.
i got 47 seconds left on my 30min at the standup library internet kiosk.
be good family... keep in touch.
for the youth and for the earth,
xylem larla dey