Casting Call for Guavaween Parade

Casting Call for Guavaween Parade

I am The Casting Director for the Guavaween Parade this year.
We are looking for all types of Talents and Extras for the Parade.
The Parade is Halloween Night which is a Saturday.
This Event Here is for the CASTING CALL.
There will be two. One Oct 3rd "Sat" the other oct 8th "Thurs".

Please sign up on CFI and RSVP to become involved and attend. Casting Call Link Below.
OCT 3rd 5pm "Saturday" - centralfloridainspiration.ning.com/events/casting-for-guavaween-parade
OCT 8th 6pm "Thursday" - centralfloridainspiration.ning.com/events/casting-for-guavaween-parade-1

You only need to attend one Casting call.

Anyone with us gets in free and Performs in Parade. We need performers of all types and Extras! Please post your talents as a comment on the Event Forum! ;)

Burning Man PHOTOS!!!!!

Photos in my BLOG here ----> blogs.myspace.com/xzanthiaspersonal - Please Check them out and Comment there what ya think!!!

I put a Spell on you, but I spelled it wrong…

I put a Spell on you, but I spelled it wrong…
So it did not work..

So I guess that being a witch is out.. LOL.. I have friends constantly telling me that I need spell check, but you should see it before I run it through Microsoft word! Lol.. and many people send me very rude letters saying how ignorant I come off because of my spelling. It really sucks. I have too many thoughts to run past a proof reader. They are to much, to often, to fast flowing. This could be a full time job! LOL.. Perhaps I do need someone.. hmm.. any of you volunteer? I really do not want to come of ignorant, that is not my intention at all. My excuse is that I was mainly homeless with my mom till age 11. No time for school. I have spent the years after playing catch-up.

Green Lights and Red Flags

Green Lights and Red Flags

I am at a new part of my life. I truly feel the edge of the cliff of my old life at my heels as I free fall into my new one. I am now beginning to see all my hard work and effort beguine to pay off. I can now see my life as chapters.
Chapter 1 – (Birth – 11) “Childhood” - Living with my mom, traveling all over the country.
Chapter 2 – (11 – 15) “Becoming” - Living with my father, finding who I am.
Chapter 3 – (16 – 19) “Discovery / Depression” - Finding love, Dating, Growing into my own. Understanding people and there actions and reactions for the first time. Loosing myself in my thoughts and not knowing how to control the depth of which I go.
Chapter 4 – (19 – 22) “Weakness / Freedom” – Understanding my needs and desires while still a victim to my weaknesses. Becoming the public identity of (XZanthia).
Chapter 5 – (22 – 27) “Structure / Stability” – Living in Denver, Building the art community and gallery. Pulling together what it is that makes me tick. Seeing my path more clearly.
Chapter 6 – (27 – 29) “Separation / Solitude” – Denying my human desires for fear of the heart. Hurt by people I retreated into my own world.
Chapter 7 – (29 - ?) “Apprehension / Self Awareness” – wounds not healed, however willing to go back in the battle field believing I can win this war. Dating again. Loosing myself in relationships and rediscovering what I already knew. Becoming more productive and getting a better grasp on my passions.
Chapter 7 (Continued) “Organization / Understanding” – Where I am at now is that I am starting to embrace who I am and what I am truly looking for. Understanding the act of will is only as strong as ones true desire. Living in the “Now”. Learning to let go, move forward, truly learn and better myself and better structure my future.
Chapter 8 – (30s) “Converging” – I will hope to ether find my life partner or except that my life, like my parents will be full of 3 year relationships. Either way I would love to travel, study, be self sustaining and have a child.
Chapter 9 – (40s) “Family / Adulthood” – What ever that is, LOL…

I can feel that this is going to be a long blog. I have had a whole lot on my mind in the last week. It is as I think several thoughts at any given moment. Only when I show my mind enough to form them into constructive sentences to be translated by the public can I beguine to understand what I am truly thinking.
Writing this way is a powerful way to know ones self, as well as having others understand you. And in there comments, you can understand them. But that is simply there public comments. Being that I choose to live my life in the open, I am vulnerable to much public criticism. O and I do get it. I am just as human as the next person, and I am judged for it behind my back. This is life and just the way people are. I accept this. There is a part of me, with every action, feel the paparazzi at my door. I can now read the headlines. I understood this when I was becoming a public Icon and I embrace the positive and negative sides. I am human and just want friends, want to understand and be understood, love and be loved. I need to be allowed to change and shift gears. I need to be understood as a true artist, and only then can I not let anyone down.
In my time I have gathered many great friends on many different levels. Some breeze in and out with the passing wind, others stay by my side for years and others still come and go, but we never loose our connection. Forever connected. I feel forever bonded to everyone that touches my life in any kind of a substantial way. What I mean by this, anyone who takes the time to know me. It seems to start there. Then I reciprocate.
With this I have had numerous men use “work” as a way to get close to me, becoming angry if I don’t choose them romantically. This hurts and angers me. They become harsh in words and actions, letters and blogs when I put my attention on anyone but them. Be it male or female, romantically or otherwise. This obsession is one of the big reasons why I stopped dating/seeing people all together. It least if I was abstinent it was not “them”. But now this year since I have been having the desire to feel love again, I am being punished by these men who have posed as my friends, just waiting for there chance with me. This bothers me a great deal, and I wish it not to be so. It does not matter that I do not flirt, speak openly on my level of interest on them or even if I digress from intense interaction friendship for fear of leading them on.
Since I have been back in Florida I have been rediscovering who I am and what it is that I am looking for in this life. I have almost become 14 years old again, fearful of the fall but wanting to fly. I am sure that all of life is this way, this forever morphing orb of emotion and actions. Doors will forever be opened and closed, if we want them to or not. We will always have times of greatness and times of squallier. Acts of will are only as strong as ones true desire. Denying ones true desire for fear is not a action of will. Fear is there as a guideline, not a wall, life is a river with many twists and turns and although a 30 foot water fall could be just around the bend, it does not matter now, for we are enjoying the ride. And once you fall, there will always be calm waters ahead. Yes we know this, we are intellectual beings, but more then this we are emotional beings chemically addicted to sensation, be it positive or negative.
Living in the eye, and being recognized is a lesser level to getting my work out there and being known as my name is beginning to carry weight. Having the look that I do publicly it attracts much attention, some desired, some not. However it all levels out. I understand that sex sells and if it weren’t for my looks it would be harder to get to where I am in my career. However it does come with its downfalls. This is why I have “Married” on my profile. As well as the constant statement of not being interested in romantic involvement. That is why I often find it strange when a couple put on there profile that they are single, it’s that they are keeping there options open. People believe that I am silly for using myspace stats to understand people and there intentions. But it is there public skin. It shows there true level of contentment. That is why even when single, I never put single on my profile. I do not want to be put on the market, even if I am truly on the market. I am not up for the highest bidder. I am not an idem, a trophy or a notch on a belt. I am a emotionally passionate person who’s driving force is love of all that this life has to offer without hurting those around me or myself. . I am only interested in a life partner, but how can I get one if I am afraid of dating. It like I want to become a fish but I am scared of the water. Well, my ruling planet is Venus. So I am ruled my love. My love for art, community, people and family as well as our earth and knowledge. I am immensely passionate and communicative. Powerful and intimidating. I am aware of who I am and my projected persona. I live in my head so much it is sometimes hard to understand those around me from who they really are and not the idea of them I made up to comfort me. Only with open communication, “no holds bar” without feeling or making others feel interrogated, can this come to a full and true understanding. Only when you totally understand a situation can you embrace it. I mean this in all of life. I feel it with the resort, My art, Career, Desires, Self awareness and love.
It is strange how people react and how you react to them. It is strange how your narcissism can be your defeat. Your ego your downfall. Only when you submit yourself to the situation and become vulnerable, can you truly understand it for what it is, but when you show a hungry wolf your throat don’t be surprised if it takes the opportunity, it’s simply in the creatures nature. We must except this and still offer our selves to the pack in all our weakness, if they do not devour you, you become one of them and can run with the pack.
When I, like so many bloggers, write, I can not be to personally directed towards any one subject or person. I must be vague but direct, not condescending but understood and in the same breath, I can more parse any one person or situation for the feelings of others as well as the change that could occur and most often will throughout life which makes one who writes passing thoughts and feelings seem like they are going back on there word. Emotions will blind us into submission. We will give in if we are not strong to understand and move through wide eyed and bushy tailed.
Life is so beautiful, at ones the greatest gift and curse is our consciousness. Some of us are more awake to them selves as well as those around us. Others choose to live in a type of a fog, and kudos to them, I can’t do it, it does not desire me to do so. There is too much that this life has to offer to loose myself in drugs, emotion, happenstance and other people’s desires.
Love life, live in the moment, live for the future, don’t let people brake you, forever move forward, learn not from only your mistakes but from the mistakes of others and don’t loose yourself in day-to-day bullshit that does not matter in the grand scheme of things. Be selfish, but in a freely open and giving way to all that touch you. We are born alone, and we die alone. We walk by the side of others during different times of our life, but perhaps we can never truly embrace someone, engulf them, become one in unity. We are forever two separate bodies and souls. Only connected by that which we desire to be connected on the level of our choosing. Only with communication and vibration can we ever hope to grasp what we truly desire. Be that on any level of love, life and happiness. One thing to say / read the words, another to embrace and follow. I am still working on convincing myself.

Life... Don’t tell Me about Life…

Life… Don’t tell Me about Life…

That was to quote the depressed robot from "Hitch Hikers Guide From the Galaxy." Not that I am at all depressed, but I understand how he feels. A depressed robot, a mass intellect that just can’t get past the way he was programmed. This is a very complex thought and statement. Ponder that for a while.
I have been very busy this week on the internet. I have been building Profiles to promote the community I am building as well as my own talents. I have not been spending much time checking Emails or Comments. I will get on that after this weekend. However I really want to continue painting more often. Today I made 3 more larger board box frames to paint new pieces. These are the largest that I have ever gone. It is time for me to take the next step. What is life without personal evolution?
I have been a constant flow of poetic interruption. More thoughts then I even have the desire or time to stop and put to paper. I just write a poem about one recent / fleeting thought that I did have time to put down. “A Playful Distraction” – (WordPress) (Blogger). I am just now starting to understand how those two sites work. People are telling me that with the amount that I blog I should be on a Blogging Site. But with all the tings that I do I do not know if another Profile is what I need. LOL.. Looks like you cant even put a link or HTML in Blogger. WordPress looks cool. I will continue messing with both. I really like how you can categorize everything in WordPress. And people just hop around both those sites to read blogs. I like that. Get my insanity out to more people. ;)
Before blogging or LiveJournal or any of that, I was an avid writer of my thoughts. I never went public, however I had considered publishing them. I am not a secretive or personal person. Most anything that I hold back is for the sake of other people. I don’t want to hurt anyone that reads my blogs by my actions or reactions in writing. The complexity of my thoughts only make sense when I stop and write them down. So this is mainly for me, however I do love that now because of the internet others can read and comment. This also gives those who care, some insight into who I am. More then the persona that they project on me from my image. The complexity of human emotion and thoughts is hard to confined in a mere article. For we are forever changing and different with every individual that we interact with. Well I know I am. Sometimes I am all wall, and sometimes all arms, but sometimes, a wall with arms.
This next week I will try to go through all the mail that I can in my different profiles. I am trying to redirect most “useful” mail to my XZanthia@Gmail.com account and the “comments” to the comments on my page. I get so many.. well just men hitting on me. Which I am not interested and only makes me want to dig the hole that I crawled in a bit deeper. Once I get through all my mail, I then want to learn how to use Gmial more effectively as well as Googles other features. In the middle of all this I want to paint! I really need to paint! Aaa! But this computer is like crack! And I use it for my dose of human interaction being that I do not go out that often. A part of me would like to change that, then the other part is like.. why?
Just today I received a shipment from a acquaintance in Denver of DVDs Documentary’s, like the ones that I have up on my MySpace Blog. I will be having LOTS OF Movie Nights at my resort coming up!
Now off to another page of a internal rant. Crushes suck. I don’t like to have them, and I do not like it when my friends have them on me. I seem to crush on men that are wayyy intimidated by me, so they run. They may never known that I was interested, because I will not allow anything to manifest for a year or more of friendship. So time, I have time. But it seems that they don’t even want to make the time to get to know me. I am not saying that this happens often, cause really it doesn’t. Its not like I am always crushing on some dork, but it happens enough that it has been on my mind. My friends that crush on me, well I really try to let them down with honesty and kindness. If that does not work I become cold and hard. Often it seems as men never get the paint. Perhaps it is that same way in woman. But once one of my “dorks” show me that they are not interested, I move on. This has only ever happened 3 times by the way. I normally am to busy for crushes. LOL. I know I am a lot to handle, and the type of guy that I desire can not handle me, so it seems as I get with these, “player” type guys. Now I know that several of my X’s read this and I am sure I will get several Texts. So I put in this disclaimer so that perhaps I will not. I do not mean “Player” in a cold, mean sense of the word. Just can’t think of a better word for it. Someone that is more into self gratitude and the excitement of new things. This is not at all a bad thing. It just needs to be addressed and understood within the individuals and partnership.
I have had several enlighten occurrences this past month that has made me a little more aware of myself, my feelings, my actions and reactions as well as my future. My father is showing me support as an artist and as part owner of the resort for the first time in my life. My father has always been hard on me. Using harsh words to brake me. Not being supportive and even not calling me for months-years when I was living in Denver. But now he is buying me art supplies, promoting and helping me. He believes in me. It is a strange feeling to have when being denied of it for so long.
My X, whom I am still very good friends with, just got married. I was suppose to go to the wedding and I felt so bad that I was in Cali. They are in Mexico for there honeymoon and with this whole swine flue thing, I am worried. Ari getting marryed only truly hit me on any kind of emotional level when I was on my FaceBook posting to my friends when I clicked on his Wife’s profile. I have written her in the past week congratulating her. However this time her main photo was them kissing at the wedding. I am happy for him, I am happy he found love. I am happy he has moved on from me and cut his hair. I will always love him, just don’t feel the desire to be in a relationship with him. He has come to me several times asking. I have distanced myself from him to not mislead or hurt him. He is a great man, and will make her a great husband. With our connection I never figured out why I did not feel the desire to stay. It was my choice, and I am happy that he has moved on. But at the same time it hurts. He is my first X that has tied the knot. And he is one that I will forever be soul connected.
I am desiring to write more often. I feel the need to create poetry, art and music. However I am feeling the desire to focus more then ever. I am almost 30 years old and in a kind of unfocused panic of desire to live up to my potential. So my father and I have been working on my goals. Placing them in order. Soon I will be putting all my progress in this up on my Blogs not only for me, but to help others better focus there life if they desire it to be so.
Two of my female friends contacted me within four hours of each other upset that I was commenting there boyfriends on MySpace. They both wanted me to delete there boyfriends. Nether was being rude to me, or saying that I had intentions. One said that he was talking to me so that he can spy on her or get her mad, the other did not like seeing me on her mans profile with my modeling pix. I 100% would delete them if I could. But after 600,000 friends, I can no longer search people by there name or the first letter.
I have felt lust. Nothing big, just enough to now know that I am single and a woman. Not sure if I would like to do anything about it, being that I know how my heart is connected to my intermit encounters. However I at times am bothered with this and I wish that I could enjoy life and another’s body without getting attached. This is very personal, however, if someone reads this long into a blog they deserve to know a bit more. ;)
Well with that being said, and now I’m on the 3rd page on the Word Document that I created to bleed my thoughts to you, I feel as I will end with this…

Life… Don’t tell Me about Life…

(POEM) - A playful distraction

If you stay,
I will not be able to remain a lady.

For the monster is knocking on my door.

You are a playful distraction, a need for an end.
This simple attraction, I wish to not apprehend.

I’m needy and I’m distant, I’m clingy and I’m calm.
I’m complicated but commutative, I’ve been right and I’ve been wrong.

I have felt love I thought to last and lust with a friend.
Acted on desires of emotion as the rolling of the ocean its difficult comprehend.
I have been chased and desired, used and thrown away.
Misunderstood, denied so now I keep these feelings at bay.
A desire for devotion, it’s my motion to this testament I defend
Then I tire of my morels and my will starts to bend.

So you see, if you stay,
I will not be able to remain a lady.

For the monster is knocking on my door.

So, you must go home,
Its not that I don’t want you here, it’s just better off if I am left alone.

It’s these human desires that my body requires.
This carnal nature wired, begins to inspire promises of haven.
I admire the unity but tire of these empty promises given

I have been here before, been bold, and I do wish to explore.
I feel your lore, It’s not that I’m cold, it’s just that I choose to ignore,
This monster knocking on my door.

Organic Machines of Chemical Longing

It is hard to remain constant when human emotion and desires interfere. Be it if it was a word, action, hormones or just a thought. We change, we grow, we digress and with this we experience and learn. We are never who we are, for we are like the rolling ocean. A spiritual being of awareness and compassion. Those of us who have been hurt, or have seen pain, build a wall. When all we want is a door. A door that we are to scared to open. A door of endless possibilities, however the prospect of pain.

So endlessly strong in thought, but thought, as a river changes shape, form and moves faster then we can comprehend. When we think we grasp it, it had changed. All we grasped was the quick passing glimpse of what was once there.

I have experiences, as many of us do, the full scope of many of the feelings offered to these organic machines that we are observers from. Although I feel separate, as if I am outside watching someone else’s life, like in a movie, I can feel this characters emotions, for I have watched her grow, make choices, move on, be hurt, fall in love, abused and become strong and self assure.

Keeping busy in actions and thoughts is a good way to pass the time. Being productive is desired and necessary. Relationships of any kind are both the greatest gift and curse, that we could ever want to involve ourselves in. We learn and grow as well as gain so much. Each step through companionship makes us more aware of the full scope of things, what we have to offer and what we desire of this life.

It comes down to the chemical addictions that our brain creates and maintains as desires, longing and fear. Once you have traveled certain paths in life, there is no going back, once you have experienced, you are a changed person, forever. With each time you become a little more aware of yourself and those around you. There intent and desires of others, matched with your own.

TOUR DATES & Come do art-movie with me tomorrow! EVENTS this weekend.

I have Returned safe from my travels to California, however I returned with Poison Ivy! LOL.. O well.

Tomorrow night I am going to show the movie "The Future Of Food". We will be doing art and it will also be a potluck dinner. Very casual and just for fun. Anyone may come, just bring a Vegetarian or Vegan dish.
I will be doing art most all day, so if you would like to come do art with me and some other friends here at my resort, please do TEXT me - 720 339 7502.

My EVENT - This SAT - 5-2-09 @ Ybor City TAMPA-Roosevelt
Noon-4pm or so -
FREE
Please call or text me for more Info - 720 339 7502
Roosevelt - on 15th st between 7th and 8th av, Ybor City, Tampa.

ABOUT EVENT: Open Mic, Poetry, Arts and Crafts and much more! This is my first one that I am having here, however I will be doing it every month on Art Walk in Ybor City on the First Saturday. Please bring something to read, a sond to play, some art to work on, or just come hang out!
-------------------------------------------
The First Sunday of Every month I am starting a
ART ON TREASURE ISLAND Event (NEXT) - This Sunday May 3th
3pm-10pm
FREE
Just like the one above but on the beach! Please come out and show ur support to the local art scene! Come be creative with us.

TOUR DATES: (To be placed on my Profile soon) 2009

July 1-7 Rainbow Gathering Nationals New Mexico

July 8th-20th Home Tampa (AREA) Florida

July 17-18-19 X BASH 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Clothing-Optional Live-In Artist Community. FLORIDA

July 21st-August 22nd Art Shows, Camping, Friends, Love... Denver, Boulder, Colorado Springs and Ft Collins Colorado

August 23-31st BURNING MAN Black Rock Desert of Nevada

September 1-30 Art Shows, Camping, Friends, Love... Los Angeles, Hollywood California

October - ? Home Tampa (AREA) Florida

November 1-28 1st Camera for a Documentary on the local Tribes. Montu Pitu Peru.

December - ? Home Tampa (AREA) Florida

My Trip to LA Cali

Well my California trip has been fun. It is almost over. I spent the first few days with my friend Pete and ROXY. Yesterday I did a photo shoot at Roxies wearing some of her costumes. She is packing to go to London next month, she had a huge sale. I got some cool stuff. I interviewed her of some spiritual and esoteric views. I will YouTube it as soon as I get the time to edit it. I made a lot of Video from this trip, just need time to edit. If anyone out there wants to edit my Vlogs for credit please hit me up. I seem to never have the time to do this. I even can give u the program and teach u! lol..

My Brother Keith is Talking about moving out to LA to be closer to his kids. I have not seen him in years. He now lives in Lake Havasu, Arizona. I am feeling, like every time I travel, like i need to get back on the road. Now since I have found places like that which Fabian, Mike and I went hiking the other day, I now know that I could spend a extended amount of time in the LA-Hollywood area. I just need Nature. I need a river. There are so many great tings to do and connections to be made here, however I would perhaps feel that I was never running fast enough to live here. With all my dreams and ambition, being here for to long could drive me insane! LOL..

We went hiking down the river and in caves, it was great but it showed me how out of shape I am and just how badly I really need to get back into the mountains. Its strange because 5 of my Colorado friends texted me this week saying the mountains call and its time i get back out there. I feel it. I know.. I just always seem to have so much on my plate, There is so much life to enjoy. I really wish I would have had the time to camp when I was out here, I would not have even used a tent.

I got to hang out with my friend Keith and Nathan from "Bad Acid Trip" again. It has been about 5 years. Crazy how fast time passes. I hope to hang out with them both again today. I fly out tomorrow morning. It was great seeing Keith again after about 5 years. He had changed a whole lot and become a whole lot more conscious. I am very happy to see the direction of his life. He reintroduced me to the movie "The Future Of Food " which I had posted about a year ago and forgot about. Its a great film about what is going on with our food. You should really check it out. Repost it too.

Much MORE - PHOTOS and VIDEOS on my MySpace BLOG - blogs.myspace.com/xzanthiaspersonal
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY MYSPACE BLOG! I POST THERE SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK WITH TONS OF PHOTOS AND VIDEOS!!!

VIDEO - Of my Clothing-Optional, Live-In Artist Community,

VIDEO - Of my Clothing-Optional, Live-In Artist Community,
RV Resort and Campground in Land O Lakes Florida
Just North of Tampa.

VIDEO URL - www.youtube.com/watch

groups.myspace.com/nudeartresort
myspace.com/XZanthia

NEXT EVENTS -----
Jan 24, 2009 6pm-MIDNIGHT Community Art/Poetry/Music/Potluck Dinner
Jan 24, 2009 NOON-6pm PM Photographers and Model Event

INFO- 720 339 7502 www.NaturallyNude.com