My Blog

Updating again

zimra — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:53:04 GMT

I've been being bounced from specialist to specialist, having all sorts of tests done and leaving a lot of doctors scratching their heads. Today, FINALLY, after almost 3 months of looking for answers, I have some. I saw a neurologist again today, and he had the wisdom to call in the shoulder specialist (who was conveniently in the next room.) The shoulder guy knew what was wrong before he even walked in the door; apparently I am having a common yet uncommon side effect of the lymph node biopsy. I definitely have nerve damage from the surgery, and it is possibly very severe. Some of the muscles in my shoulder girdle are simply not working at all (hence the lack of mobility), and others are in a world of pain and tension from the damage (hence the pain.) I may end up with nerve exploration surgery and possibly tendon grafts (hugely major shoulder nerve reconstruction stuff) at the Cleveland Clinic or another big medical center in another city (very few surgeons do those types of surgery.) Right now I am on huge doses of prednisone for 2 weeks (hello, crazy!) and I have another electromyography (needles in the muscles again! How wonderful!) scheduled for the 30th. I see the shoulder specialist again on May 5 (right before I leave for Spirit) to see what the big picture and plan are. I'm terrified and still in huge amounts of pain (the kind that makes you scream), but thrilled that someone finally knows what the hell is going on. The last week has been sheer hell in both pain and mobility; driving is really difficult and even getting dressed is a challenge. I am trying to get merchandise sewn for Spirit of the Tribes - it isn't easy, but I am pretty much dead broke and about to start selling off my personal treasures. Not really sure how I am going to manage the luggage on the flight to Florida though! I will probably be limited to one suitcase since I can't actually carry/pull more than that. I plan to vend at Tribal Revolution, come hell or high water. I submitted my henna party for Pennsic, but other than those things I am keeping my schedule pretty open. Was hoping to vend at TribOriginal again but just can't afford any more deposits right now.

Update

zimra — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 02:58:31 GMT

Just a quick update, as using a computer still causes me serious pain... The verdict on my gimpiness: nerve damage from the neck surgery, to the nerve that enervates my rotator cuff and shoulder. That would explain why I can't reach for things, and I can only raise my arm about 60 degrees out of a possible 140. And why the muscles are all in crazy-big knots that just won't quit. And why the pain sometimes makes me yell. The pain is still ferocious. Sweet lady percocet is keeping me sane (and making me queasy, ugh) and physical therapy is quickly draining my savings. I was making some progress, then I was overworked on wednesday - and I found out why you shouldn't overwork a nerve injury. So I'm taking a few days off of the exercises, getting a massage monday, and trying to keep it together mentally. Can it recover? That's the big question. I'm hoping for yes, obviously. I heard through the grapevine of someone with a similar experience, and she got full motion back; it took her six months though. I'm going a bit crazy (and pudgy) with no dance or yoga, and everything that I like or need to do causing me great pain. And I'm clearly not at tribalcon - I can barely pick up my purse, much less luggage or totes, and sewing is pretty much out of the question right now. I WILL be at Spirit, come hell or high water. I got my Clovenshield medallion in the post (THANK YOU KEVIN!!!), and I have been grinning like a goon all afternoon. Nothing like a cleavage full of chaos to make your day!

What happened to Zimra?

zimra — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:32:24 GMT

You may have noticed that a certain Zimra has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth. Yeah, that's me. I've spent pretty much the entire fall and winter dealing with a frightening case of swollen lymph nodes - a head and neck full of 'em - with no apparent cause. After much battling with insurance, visiting of doctors and more doctors and the finding of specialists, taking of drugs and having blood test after blood test, I am finally beginning to get some answers. I don't have them all yet, and it will probably be another couple of weeks before I get the answer to the big question: Is it cancer? I have a family history of lymphatic cancer (my dad) so this is no small concern. Having finally gotten a CT scan that proved that, um, my head and neck are full of cervical adenopathies (dude, I totally knew that! That means swollen lymph nodes!) I am FINALLY having surgery this week to excise one of the nodes in my neck for biopsy, so this should give me a definitive answer on that subject. It's my first surgery and involves general anesthesia, so I'm pretty nervous. I apologize for putting everything else in the world on hold. I've been pretty much living in terror since September, and was starting to look for youtube videos on how to excise your own lymph nodes. Fortunately my ENT specialist is also a very good neck surgeon, so I'll be going under his knife on Wednesday. Eep. I'll update when I get some answers, and if it turns out to be that blessed, blessed "no" I will resume life, socializing, costuming, dancing, and even answering emails. For now I'm going back to my crazy world of fear and worry, and will return you to your regularly scheduled radio silence. Hugs, a somewhat lumpy Zimra

Spirit of the Tribes!!!

zimra — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:44:04 GMT

It's been a rough couple of months, between my collarbone and its medical bills (darn thing won't stay in joint!) and my cat and his medical bills (swollen throat/lymph glands/tonsils, possibly lymphoma. And he is now down to 4 teeth - canines only. He has trouble eating but he can still bite me when I pill him!) So things have not been the greatest chez Zimra. But I will be at Spirit!! Can't afford any workshops or even the shows at this point, but hopefully that will change. I'm hoping to see many of you guys there! Please stop and visit at my booth (I think I'm across the aisle from my usual spot this year - look for me near Lisa Wylie and Red/Tricia's Treasures) or find me at the pool! Can't wait for some pool and hot tub time with my peeps!

off to Tribalcon

zimra — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:14:56 GMT

I will be off to Atlanta in the morning for Tribalcon! Please stop by my booth and say hello - I'll be in the main room near the stage. And I will have CHOCOLATE!!! (As well as awesome new D-ring and ruffle belts (separately, not D-rings and ruffles together... yet!) and gorgeous and affordable new mini-skirts. Plus all the fringe you could want. So come by and say hi!)

Where's that ZImra been? And desperately seeking Spirit (of the Tribes)

zimra — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:13:47 GMT

Hi everybody! I've been to hell and back recently. I'm in the midst of a major run of insomnia, so bad that I have started to lose my grip on reality/sanity (okay, so maybe I never had so much of either to start with!) I've been trying the new drug Rozerem, and it has officially... made it WORSE! That's right, the most sleep I've had in a row has been 4 hours, tops, for the past month or so. So far I haven't gone on a killing spree or hallucinated (at least, not so I can tell) but it's been close. I'm ready to ditch all the drugs and just let my body do what it will. On the more positive side, I have been getting up at 5 AM for yoga, because I'm usually up anyway. On the less positive side, my odd shoulder injury from last year was just diagnosed as the result of a neuropathy from between C5 and C6 (that's my neck). I have a severely limited range of motion in my neck and considerable weakness as well, and my right shoulder is utterly wonkity (raised and pitched forward) with an odd looseness of the humerus in the socket. My neck position is probably what caused the shoulder injury. I'll be doing PT 3 times a week (at $30 a pop, ouch!) for a few weeks, then will be reassessed. There is scar tissue around my collarbone and they are going to break it up with massage. (Another ouch.) So I am sore from being prodded and poked, but I look forward to getting my neck and shoulder set to rights. I can still practice yoga as much as I want, as long as I don't do things that hurt. I'll sit down with my Mysore teacher tomorrow so she can keep an eye on my neck alignment and other things. And I held bakasana (crane or crow pose), prop-free, for almost 2 seconds last week! My arms were killing me afterward, but I am finally getting the hang of it. I will probably be falling on my face in the next week or two. I'm told it's the only way to get rid of the fear of falling on your face. :-) And now for Spirit - I am so behind... anybody need a roommate and/or want to share a rental car? I can't rent a car this year because I don't carry my own insurance (I drive Kevin's car)... last year I bought the supplemental insurance with the rental and the whole thing cost me $500.

Happy and safe New Year's to you all!

zimra — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 20:57:00 GMT

I hope you all have a very safe and happy new year's! I am very grateful for all my wonderful, open-minded, open-hearted, talented and funny and cooler-than-hell friends! I look forward to hanging with y'all at one event or another - hopefully soon!

heartbroken: Benazir Bhutto is dead

zimra — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 14:00:16 GMT

As I did my sun salutations this morning, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. How utterly and devastatingly terrible.

Happy Holidays! and what I've been up to...

zimra — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 17:02:28 GMT

Hope y'all are having some fabulous holidays-of-your-choice! May your travels be safe and your days free from stress! Here's what I've been up to: YOGA!!! I finally dragged my sorry butt back to the studio, and have been doing Mysore practice (self-led Ashtanga) on every weekday morning... at 6 AM! Kind of a crazy time for an insomniac/night owl to do yoga, but I am absolutely IN LOVE with it! The one day I missed last week had me cranky and out of sorts all day. And yes, it did take me two weeks to get to the point where I could practice every day - I was *really* sore after the first few classes. But now I am studying with my favorite teacher in the whole world, and the people I practice with are totally wonderful and fun (and all WAY more advanced than me, I'm the baby of the bunch!) and I am totally thrilled.

Tribalcon - anyone need a roomie?

zimra — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:00:43 GMT

I want to go to Tribalcon in February - does anyone have room in their hotel room, or want to share a room? Drop me a line, here or at zimradancer@gmail.com Also, I'm not sure if I'm going to drive or fly, so if anyone is interested in driving from Ohio or points beyond let me know! If I drive it looks like my route will go through Cincinnati, Lexington, Knoxville and Chattanooga. EDIT: It looks like it is actually cheaper to drive!

drive-by blog post for a funny dance video

zimra — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 03:05:41 GMT

I should be writing, but this was just too funny/cool not to share. The first couple of seconds aren't very thrilling, but give it a minute. It gets hilarious at about 2:40. http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1789284 YouTube has a bunch of videos of someone doing the same thing with just her hands.

nanowrimo, anyone?

zimra — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:30:35 GMT

Just a drive-by to say that I am currently busy with the craziness that is national novel writing month. I'm working hard to finish my novel quickly so I can get back to the sewing and dancing. Are there any other novel-writing crazies out there? http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Avast, ye scurvy dogs!!!

zimra — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 21:29:50 GMT

...and a hearty ARRRRRRRR!!! to my fellow pirates and pastafarians today. (In case you're confused: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/) Best pirate-talking instructional video ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqMu6e5Dgtg

wisdom from Harvey Pekar

zimra — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 21:11:02 GMT

"When you're dead, it robs life of many pleasures."

polyamorous cardinals

zimra — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 21:06:53 GMT

This afternoon I saw a male cardinal with two females - and he was "mate feeding" both of them (it's when the male feeds a seed to a female, beak-to-beak - they do it as a mate-bonding thing, and when the female is laying and/or incubating eggs.) How funny.

The cute... oh, it hurts!

zimra — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 20:48:42 GMT

Baby beluga!!! http://www.sheddaquarium.org/beluga_calf_update.html The birth video almost made me cry.

back from Pennsic and beyond

zimra — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 03:49:36 GMT

Pennsic was hot, humid, wet, and fun. And not necessarily in that order. :-) Favorite and best times: 1) Hanging with Jaya and Safa on Jaya's bed and talking about SEX for hours... I'm a rock star, baby! *giggles maniacally* 2) Drinking mai tai's and dancing in a downpour with my peeps on my birthday. Kazuki with her davul in the rain! More mai tai's!!! Wish I'd had a few less, but it was an amazing and fun and WET night. 3) Cure sallee, being with all my friends and just basking in everyones' amazingness. That happened a lot at Pennsic - I was struck over and over by what an amazing bunch of friends I have. I love you guys. Of course, feeding people bacon during the bacon dance was a serious high point, as was getting to feed the bacon to my fellow bacon dancers... and eating it ourselves... hot girl on bacon action! Girl on girl on bacon action! Girl on bacon on girl! Hooray for bacon, and the amazingness that is Clovenshield. I love my camp. Slinging insults, talking weapons, eating bacon, drinking beer - what could be better?!?! Speaking of which... Glenda's food! She rocked it out and fed us fantastically. Must find out what she put in the meat cake, I loved loved LOVED it!

outta here

zimra — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:27:42 GMT

I am off! I'll be gone until july 28 or so, then home for a couple of days and back out to pennsic. Take care and be safe, y'all! See some of you soon!

Triboriginal, anyone need to register?

zimra — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 13:43:17 GMT

I need to register for Triboriginal, and I'm hoping to find some peeps who are going (three other peeps, to be precise) so we can register together with the group rate (and save some dough.) Here's the event info: http://www.barakamundi.com/triboriginal/ Great line-up of teachers! Amazing food! The fee includes all classes, food, and lodging!!! I'll be driving, and my route goes through either Cinci/Lexington or Charlie West. I've got room for a person or two! It's only 8 hours from C-bus. I'm not sure when the registration closes, since I couldn't find any info on the web page (except for vendor deadline.) I'd email Onca about it but she never ever seems to answer her email.

Raccoon babies!!!!!!!!!

zimra — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 02:20:02 GMT

There are FOUR little raccoon babies at my back door!!! This is a new record. I think we had three last year, and two survived. I'd better buy more cat food!

Live Earth

zimra — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 20:35:24 GMT

Check it out: http://www.liveearth.org/ If you are in the US and have the Bravo (cable) channel, you can watch it all day. The above web page has info on broadcasts in other areas. I am now totally in love with KT Tunstall. Not only did she wear very Zoe-esque gold leggings, she offsets her CD production with tree planting and runs her tour buses on bio-diesel. And her music is good! Right now there is a band playing in Antarctica on the screen. Cool. EDIT: I don't really pay attention to pop culture, and never have, so I have NO idea who many of these bands are. It's almost funny.

hilarious D&D skit

zimra — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 01:27:48 GMT

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nwp-lDSN3Qo Sneak attack!!!!!!!!!! (None of the others in the series seem to be very funny, but this one is hilarious.)

weekend with Amel Tafsout!

zimra — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 01:53:17 GMT

I am excited to be spending the weekend at workshops by Amel Tafsout. She's definitely a "don't miss" instructor. (If you're not familiar with her, check out http://www.ameltafsout.com/ She's someone I would consider moving to be able to study with.) I hope to see familiar faces there! I know Laylia is going, but I'm not sure whom else. I don't know that it was very widely advertised. I'm skipping the show so I can drive home and have some family time, then I'm driving back out on sunday. I hope we don't spend too much time on the blasted andalusian scarf dance; my shoulder has been giving me quite a bit of grief this week (I haven't used it much since a workshop last saturday, and the darn thing still hurts like the dickens.)

homebody

zimra — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 03:27:40 GMT

I'm at that stage of my summer travels where I just want to stay home. I have a two-day seminar this weekend, then I'll be gone essentially from 11 July until 11 August. (There will actually be a few days home in the middle of that stretch, but I'll be living in a tent from 15 July on.) Then it's home until Triboriginal, unless I decide to go to a semi-local pagan festival at the end of August. I wish I could have one event a month for most of the year, instead of having all of these events piled together. I am especially grumpy about Starwood and Pennsic being back to back - 4 weeks of tent living is a little much even for me. And global warming isn't making it any easier. (Honestly, I have been going to long camping events for more than 10 years, and the last few years have been insanely hot, and I haven't needed nearly as much cool weather gear (usually there would be a number of cold nights, but no more.) )

Tribal Revolution!!!

zimra — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 17:09:09 GMT

I'm leaving for Chicago in the morning.... looking forward to a great weekend at Tribal Revolution!!! Who is going?!?! Stop by my booth and say hi!